LawlessHawk
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That's some funny Shitano right there.
Greetings Hawks Fans! I am Coach Shitano from Tampa
- Thread starter Coach Shitano
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Reaneypark
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You got too conservative at the end, go down with the guns blazing next time.
Coach Shitano
New member
Reaneypark":1yj10o1y said:
But that's who I am, I ALWAYS do that!
How pathetic is my coaching?? The Bucs had a 21-0 jump start, were 3+ in the turnover margin, and a rushing total of over 200 yds (158 rushing from one guy), yet the Bucs lose.
Only I, the Great Shitano, can accomplish this feat. If it wasn't clear to everyone already, this team (even with key injured players) is talented, but my coaching OFFSETS that talent.
I'm on the plane headed back home now. I hope security is beefed up at Tampa International Airport because I'm hearing rumors of rioting in the streets down there.
hawk45
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Coach, I wasn't sure anyone could be as stupid as our OC, taking 6 quarters (I count all of the previous game) to remember Marshawn Lynch plays for our team. But that was a valiant effort on your part. For you to go away from the run game in OT after gashing us all game was a stroke of genius. We present you with the Darell Bevell honorary award for offensive ineptitude, for going above and beyond to make precisely the calls that will cripple your momentum and hand it back to a team that is near-fetal.
In Bevell's case I believe the meltdowns are a bit more impressive, because he manages to make reeling teams like the Titans, Rams, and Bucs (no offense) look like world-beaters. And in our house no less!
It was truly a war of (lack)wits out on opposing sidelines today. We salute you.
In Bevell's case I believe the meltdowns are a bit more impressive, because he manages to make reeling teams like the Titans, Rams, and Bucs (no offense) look like world-beaters. And in our house no less!
It was truly a war of (lack)wits out on opposing sidelines today. We salute you.
MizzouHawkGal
Well-known member
You need to stay Coach you're the best troll ever!
Coach Shitano
New member
hawk45":koyqryin said:
I will GLADLY accept the Darell Bevell Award for my efforts. Thank you so very much (moved to tears)!
It takes a lot of hard work and stupidity to be able to do what I do, that's why your award means so much.
I was afraid in the game for a moment because I thought Pete was trying to be more bone-headed than me. I was certain that Pete was going to send "Beast-Mode" down our throats at the goal line. Instead, he had Wilson throw a pass and our back-up safety intercepted it (I think I'll fine that safety about $5000 just for the heck of it).
This was a very difficult game for me to watch because I think my coordinators and players were actually trying to win (against my orders of course). I really had to put my foot down with some key bone head decisions to make sure that the loss would be unpreventable.
Again, thank you for the award, I accept it with HONOR.
Coach Shitano
New member
KCHawkGirl":2n4yboc8 said:
Thanks for making me feel welcome! You Hawks fans are great. As I ride on the plane cross-country back to Tampa, I know that there will be pitchforks and fires waiting for me. Why can't Bucs fans appreciate what I do like you guys?
hawk45
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Some friendly advice coach, but take a lesson from Bevell. Your approach of running your QB out of town is just...well it's too obvious frankly.
The key is, stay away from an effective running game even though your OL cannot pass protect to save its life, calling many empty backfield sets on obvious passing downs so that opponents know you are passing and there is no running back in the backfield to protect him. Whatever you do, do NOT call a screen pass to slow down the pass rush. If you are going to run the ball 3 straight times, do not do it on the goal line or on 4th and short, no no no, do it in the middle of the field where it makes zero sense whatsoever. On goal line and 4th and short, you want your savior QB to absorb the full brunt of contact from D linemen. QB sneaks are the order of the day.
Yes the Bevell strategy does give you heartburn because sometimes your QB will save the game ANYWAYS despite all your efforts. But from a long-con perspective it's brilliant. Get the fans understanding that your QB is the only thing allowing you to win those close games, compile an impressive record while he takes beating after vicious beating, and then when your team is 14-2 or 15-1 with their eyes on a Lombardi, they watch their savior crumble into powder precisely as you enter the playoffs. Or wander around the sidelines with a vacant look in his eyes from all of the headshots. In this manner, not only do you keep your job, but you crush your fanbase at the same time.
You must of course have some key injuries on offense to make such a strategy work. But really, with all that MRSA floating around how difficult would it be to have some fall into the food rations of an offensive tackle or two?
Also you mustn't give Pete too much credit for the crappy offensive strategy. Pete does in fact want to run the ball and he fired his previous OC's ass for calling stupid down-the-field pass plays on 3rd and short. Pete's contribution today was more subtle; he stood by slack-jawed while precious seconds ticked away in the 4th quarter for the 2nd straight game. But then again he built this badass defense so in his heart of hearts I do not think Pete really wants to lose badly enough.
The key is, stay away from an effective running game even though your OL cannot pass protect to save its life, calling many empty backfield sets on obvious passing downs so that opponents know you are passing and there is no running back in the backfield to protect him. Whatever you do, do NOT call a screen pass to slow down the pass rush. If you are going to run the ball 3 straight times, do not do it on the goal line or on 4th and short, no no no, do it in the middle of the field where it makes zero sense whatsoever. On goal line and 4th and short, you want your savior QB to absorb the full brunt of contact from D linemen. QB sneaks are the order of the day.
Yes the Bevell strategy does give you heartburn because sometimes your QB will save the game ANYWAYS despite all your efforts. But from a long-con perspective it's brilliant. Get the fans understanding that your QB is the only thing allowing you to win those close games, compile an impressive record while he takes beating after vicious beating, and then when your team is 14-2 or 15-1 with their eyes on a Lombardi, they watch their savior crumble into powder precisely as you enter the playoffs. Or wander around the sidelines with a vacant look in his eyes from all of the headshots. In this manner, not only do you keep your job, but you crush your fanbase at the same time.
You must of course have some key injuries on offense to make such a strategy work. But really, with all that MRSA floating around how difficult would it be to have some fall into the food rations of an offensive tackle or two?
Also you mustn't give Pete too much credit for the crappy offensive strategy. Pete does in fact want to run the ball and he fired his previous OC's ass for calling stupid down-the-field pass plays on 3rd and short. Pete's contribution today was more subtle; he stood by slack-jawed while precious seconds ticked away in the 4th quarter for the 2nd straight game. But then again he built this badass defense so in his heart of hearts I do not think Pete really wants to lose badly enough.
Coach Shitano
New member
hawk45":3htx25ft said:
Hmmm. Very interesting approach and background. Believe ME, I AM TAKING NOTES. I'm sorry that Pete doesn't seem to have as much of a commitment to LOSING as I do.
Maybe one day he'll come around, but for now, you guys are just going to have to suffer with all of those wins.
If your OC is as capable of LOSING as you make it seem, maybe yoour fanbase should try to get him promoted to HC.
As far as your QB: You really need to look at replacing him (I have no problems replacing a QB). That Wilson guy is going to prevent a LOT of losses. You don't want that.
I may have even made a mistake by replacing Josh Freeman, but I'm talented enough to get losses despite that error.
hawksfansinceday1
Active member
God you guys are good, 45 and Shitano. Brilliant stuff.
Coach Shitano
New member
hawksfansinceday1":kj9eajch said:
Thanks "hawksfansinceday1"...
Hawks & Bucs were the only two franchises that entered the NFL back in 1976...
... I'm Head Coach of the Bucs (from Rutgers), but I hate the Bucs with a passion. This is only a job for me. I have no real connection with Bucs and their fans. I don't even know Buc History (The Bucs won a Superbowl?? Really??). Therefore, Buc fans HATE ME
Our plane is close to landing now, and I would like to say that I really enjoyed the Hawks' hospitality. I don't think I'll be head coach the next time our teams play.
So with that I'll say: Keep striving for losses! It won't happen much this year (I fear that your team will end up in some type of playoff (Yecchh!)). Keep fighting, and you will be able to LOSE IN GRAND FASHION like us...
Stay strong, even though you have wins; because if you keep fighting , losses will happen soon enough (though not THIS year), STRIVE TO BE INEPT...
Bless you Hawk Fans, you are great people. Now I shall continue my efforts to destroy the Bucs...
GAME 8 - mission accomplished, I'm out...
Throwdown
Well-known member
Can we at least get a weekly visit from you for the rest of the season, coach?
Throwdown
Well-known member
HawkHack":24mqu41k said:
You obviously don't remember 2009, Mora was hated up until he was fired.
Coach Shitano
New member
Throwdown":255274fn said:
Throwdown, I just happened to see your post after i signed out. I can't promise that I will visit weekly, but I will pop in from time to time.
Regardless, I will keep an eye on the Hawks. You are currently my favorite team in your division.
But I really have to go now...
... The pitchforks in Tampa are waiting...
