Saints fan assaulted last night at the game

[Sports Hernia]

Yeeeeeah........ I was keeping an open mind until he started in with the I'm a Marine and my wife was there with my buddy the Fed. Just sounds too sensational. I'm waiting for a ninja and a kung-fu midget to find their way into the story.

Alaska guy, sorry for your troubles if this turns out to actually be true, but if it IS true, why is convincing a bunch of bored middle aged guys on an Internet forum such a high priority for you right now?

Maybe I'm wrong but this whole "incident" screams butthurt attention whore!

 

[dunceface]

butthurt attention whore!

hahahahahahahaha this has been great! thanks for the good times Alaska

I feel sorry for his wife, but only because she has to put up with his hatred shtick

 

[HansGruber]

But he's a Saints fan!! Why would he troll a Seahawks forum, especially after his team's Superbowl dreams just got smashed like his wife's face?

You know how that broad got a shiner? She made the mistake of laughing at his Saints jersey when she got back from the game. He got mad because she bought herself a Wilson jersey, put on some green lipstick, and was talking that 12th Man trash to his face! In front of his FBI buddy! In front of his FBI buddy's ninja wife! WTF! So he gave her a little Alaskan fist-kiss to the gob. SMACK!

Now his wife is getting phone calls from Russell Wilson, to let her know he can save her. Unfortunately for AlaskanTroll and his FBI buddies, Russell Wilson is a SUPERHERO who will do anything to protect a damsel in distress. Wilson will dispatch of them all easily, with a simple wave of his hand. Then he'll swoop in, save the girl, and introduce her to one of his black friends who can properly love and take care of a woman.

 

[CANHawk]

But he's a Saints fan!! Why would he troll a Seahawks forum, especially after his team's Superbowl dreams just got smashed like his wife's face?

You know how that broad got a shiner? She made the mistake of laughing at his Saints jersey when she got back from the game. He got mad because she bought herself a Wilson jersey, put on some green lipstick, and was talking that 12th Man trash to his face! In front of his FBI buddy! In front of his FBI buddy's ninja wife! WTF! So he gave her a little Alaskan fist-kiss to the gob. SMACK!

Now his wife is getting phone calls from Russell Wilson, to let her know he can save her. Unfortunately for AlaskanTroll and his FBI buddies, Russell Wilson is a SUPERHERO who will do anything to protect a damsel in distress. Wilson will dispatch of them all easily, with a simple wave of his hand. Then he'll swoop in, save the girl, and introduce her to one of his black friends who can properly love and take care of a woman.

:bow: :bow:

 

[AlaskaSaints]

But he's a Saints fan!! Why would he troll a Seahawks forum, especially after his team's Superbowl dreams just got smashed like his wife's face?

You know how that broad got a shiner? She made the mistake of laughing at his Saints jersey when she got back from the game. He got mad because she bought herself a Wilson jersey, put on some green lipstick, and was talking that 12th Man trash to his face! In front of his FBI buddy! In front of his FBI buddy's ninja wife! WTF! So he gave her a little Alaskan fist-kiss to the gob. SMACK!

Now his wife is getting phone calls from Russell Wilson, to let her know he can save her. Unfortunately for AlaskanTroll and his FBI buddies, Russell Wilson is a SUPERHERO who will do anything to protect a damsel in distress. Wilson will dispatch of them all easily, with a simple wave of his hand. Then he'll swoop in, save the girl, and introduce her to one of his black friends who can properly love and take care of a woman.

Posterboy for Classless Seahawks fan.
You got a tent in this thread that you're sleeping in, GOOBER? 7800 views and I bet half of them are yours. Glad I gave you one day to live for you loser.

Alaska

 

[Zebulon Dak]

This is hilarious.

 

[BreesIsOverrated]

I WAS NOT AT THE GAME.

Nothing more needs to be said. You have changed your story so many times. So obvious it's all made up. Wtf is a vicarious Alaska-native doing rooting for New Orleans anyways? How long have you lived in the NO area? That's what I thought.

 

[dunceface]

so glad this hasn't been locked yet so as soon as hard evidence comes forward from the non-lying butthurt moose princess we can all be proven wrong and to be typical classless Seattle meanies!

dunce

 

[LymonHawk]

That's it. I am going back over to the Saints board to apologize on behalf of Lymon yet again.

Word.

I must say that this situation requires monitoring very closely.

If I wanted a drunk to apoligize for me, I'd do it myself. :mrgreen:

 

[HansGruber]

Posterboy for Classless Seahawks fan.
You got a tent in this thread that you're sleeping in, GOOBER? 7800 views and I bet half of them are yours. Glad I gave you one day to live for you loser.
Alaska

Don't get confused, princess. Today is ALL YOU. You started all these threads to get your 15 minutes, and now you have it. Daddy's little princess is getting his moment in the spotlight! Blossom, my little troll flower, blossom and bloom!

This is the part where you show us your dance moves and model your favorite pair of shoes. What a precious little snowflake you are!!

Yeah, I've dated a few attention whores like you in my time. Difference between you and I is that I never hit them, though. I let them believe that daddy really does love their poetry, and yes, I really do care about every little detail of their conversations with their girlfriends, and why one of them is such a bitch, etc.

I know how to make you feel special. Because that's what you need, isn't it?

 

[dunceface]

:common069:

 

[HansGruber]

Seriously, though... can we please get this thread moved to the Smack Shack??

That would be like manna from heaven.

 

[dunceface]

Seriously, though... can we please get this thread moved to the Smack Shack??

That would be like manna from heaven.

lets just start a Throwdown Reaction Thread for the AlaskaPrincess story in there…

mine would be Pinksheets avi

 

[razgriz737]

Oh my god, I'm dying, Hans. :laugh: :192215:

 

[HansGruber]

Seriously, though... can we please get this thread moved to the Smack Shack??

That would be like manna from heaven.

lets just start a Throwdown Reaction Thread for the AlaskaPrincess story in there…

mine would be Pinksheets avi

If we're going to classify entire fanbases on a single interaction, this guy has fully convinced me that Saints fans are some of the whiniest, most pathetic, fair-weather poor-sports on earth.

Who the hell pays $600/ea for club tickets and then gives them away? I gotta do a google image search on that pic because I guarantee it's a fake. Guy can't even spell properly, and is convinced that the Club section is full of Walter Whites and Jesse Pinkmans from his trailer park back home.

What's so hilarious is that my buddy's girlfriend once got booted for merely screaming "That's Bull****!!" after a bad call. There were like 5 security people and 2 guys in the yellow alcohol enforcement jackets pulling her out of her seat. No swearing! Me and my buddy are laughing our tails off, and the old Mariners fans behind us (can't stand that couple) are literally horrified at our lack of culture. The wife looks at her husband and says, "What kind of person uses those words?" These people actually ask us to sit down when it's 3rd Down. But yeah, totally likely that crowd would randomly assault a woman unprovoked. SURE.

About as likely that some white trash slob from Alaska can afford Club seats, gives them to his wife, who is then physically assaulted while hordes of cops in the Club Lounge just stand around watching.
:th2thumbs:

 

[Zebulon Dak]

lets just start a Throwdown Reaction Thread for the AlaskaPrincess story in there…

Done.

 

[mikeak]

from Alaska can afford Club seats:

Calm down now. No need to pick on us up here in the North. Many if us can afford the tickets and flights without a problem. We just try to avoid civilization

 

[Throwdown]

Hans >>>>

 

[HansGruber]

from Alaska can afford Club seats:

Calm down now. No need to pick on us up here in the North. Many if us can afford the tickets and flights without a problem. We just try to avoid civilization

Allow me to clarify, sir:

I was not stating that all people from Alaska are white trash slobs. What I was saying is that this specific individual is a white trash slob.

 

[HansGruber]

From what I hear, the FBI has their best profiler working on the case now, trying to create a profile of the perps so they can track them down. They're having some issues because when they combine the traits:

* "can afford $1200 Club tickets"
* "randomly punches women in the face for no reason"
* "super-stealthy and able to evade attention when assaulting women in packed public areas"

Apparently, it has the profiler completely stumped. For a second though, they came close, and it looked something like this: