Well it's 2022, so here it goes..
To all the members of the 6'4", 250 pound, white guy community. I wanted to apologize for the deep pain and offense my obvious satirical, hyperbolic and comedic quip may have caused you. I can't begin to imagine the torment I must have put you through by comparing you to the greatest RB ever born. I want to be clear that I stand together with all those in the big, tall, and white community. Even though I can't look you directly in the eye, I promise to fight along side of you and be a fierce advocate for all those I damaged and offended moving forward. I will also commit to attend sensitivity training from my local chapter of the Caucasian Mens Plus Plus anti-defamation league.
My post has allowed me to take a step back and self reflect on how easy it is to lose perspective of the inherent advantages I have as a 5'10" 190 pound, small endowed man. I understand that my normal size precludes me from truly understanding the daily injustices that 6'4", 250 pound, white guys endure, particularly in haberdasheries and economy sections of airplanes. Please take solace in knowing I will seek professional help and promise to spend the remainder of my time on Earth fighting against all forms of hate speech and inequality.