You can do both a swat and then making sure they understand why they got it. If you have not been a parent and dealt with a child that is stubborn and pissed and just wants to challenge you to see if he or she can then you really have no room to weigh in.
Telling them to go to timeout won't work when they say no or dig their heels in, trying to talk to them when they turn and look away or walk away doesn't work. When they decide their little brother is infringing on their space and proceed to smack him or hurt him and telling them it isn't nice to do that only to have them do it again 5 minutes later knowing that there is no repercussions except a lecture doesn't work.
When they refuse to eat what's for dinner and you send them to bed and they start throwing a fit because they want cereal and are hungry and throw stuff or break stuff or possibly throw the food your telling them to eat on the floor a lecture doesn't work. They may not eat but the child wins in refusing to adhere to the discipline measures you set down.
Those are just a few examples of needing to step in with a attention swat. Granted not everyone has a child that has a temper and is that strong willed, those of us that have had one or more have to walk the line of prevention of bad behavior and not creating fear or breaking their spirit. For every time you need to step in and do something like that when the smoke has cleared a time of soothing and understanding and love follows to let them know it's what they did not who they are that was bad or wrong.
I was always looked at later on when they got older and needed to step into a situation as dad getting on his soapbox, meaning that they would have to listen to me tell them the why's and repercussions of doing things the way they were trying to do them in place of the swats as they grew older. They hated Dad on his soapbox, there were times they said can I just get a spanking without the talk, it's faster
