1) I want our defense to have and display very bad intentions. I want to see legal violence. I want the 49ers offense to look like the Broncos offense in SBXLVIII. I want their offense to look like they can’t wait to shower and get on the team busses by halftime. I want our defense to play their finest masterpiece of the season so far.
2) I want Slingin’ Sammy D, Ghost bustin’ Ginger Jesus taking advantage of their weak ass defense. I want to see ZERO turnovers. I don’t need Sammy to throw 5 TDs (although I won’t turn that down). I need efficiency. Accuracy. Give me a 21-28, 276 yards, 2TD, 0INT stat line and I’ll be happy.
3) I want us to keep pounding the rock.
All. Game. Long.
I don’t care how they divvy up the carries. Whomever has the hot hand is fine with me. Charbs seems to have the hot sauce as of late. Again, don’t care how they get it done. Run for over 100 yards. Wear their defense down.
4) I want 60 minutes of football where not one single barf-inducing post TD celebratory Purdy Doofus Dance is endured. Not ONE! If they must score a touchdown please let it be a running back where Purdy isn’t directly responsible.
That abomination celebration is TV remote-destroying territory.
5) I want a clean game with NO controversy. No bad/impartial/suspect officiating, no bad calls. Leave no doubt, win or lose, that the better team won on that day based on the play on the field. Not some controversial play call or series of calls that the other team and their fans and media can spend the following days, weeks, months and years focusing on, taking away the merits of the victory.
GIVE ME VICTORY OR GIVE ME DEATH!

2) I want Slingin’ Sammy D, Ghost bustin’ Ginger Jesus taking advantage of their weak ass defense. I want to see ZERO turnovers. I don’t need Sammy to throw 5 TDs (although I won’t turn that down). I need efficiency. Accuracy. Give me a 21-28, 276 yards, 2TD, 0INT stat line and I’ll be happy.
3) I want us to keep pounding the rock.
All. Game. Long.
I don’t care how they divvy up the carries. Whomever has the hot hand is fine with me. Charbs seems to have the hot sauce as of late. Again, don’t care how they get it done. Run for over 100 yards. Wear their defense down.
4) I want 60 minutes of football where not one single barf-inducing post TD celebratory Purdy Doofus Dance is endured. Not ONE! If they must score a touchdown please let it be a running back where Purdy isn’t directly responsible.
That abomination celebration is TV remote-destroying territory.
5) I want a clean game with NO controversy. No bad/impartial/suspect officiating, no bad calls. Leave no doubt, win or lose, that the better team won on that day based on the play on the field. Not some controversial play call or series of calls that the other team and their fans and media can spend the following days, weeks, months and years focusing on, taking away the merits of the victory.
GIVE ME VICTORY OR GIVE ME DEATH!
