Shanachoke! +Ranking all 32 NFL HC's for '24

[Fade]

hahahahahahahaha.

Kyle is always good for 2 things: Injuring his QBs, and choking in the big game!

Like I've been saying, he is the most overrated HC in football. Now he is scapegoating Wilks for him flubbing the OT coin toss, and choosing to throw the ball over and over in the 2nd half.

The Niners are done as contenders. And I'm enjoying the meltdowns. Thx Kyle.

Ranking all 32 Head Coaches
--------------------------------

01 Sean McVay - Still the one of the youngest coaches in the league. (Insane.) Took a team full of roster fodder, no draft picks and cap space to the playoffs.

02 Andy Reed - The Chiefs were flawed on offense, Mahomes had his worst season, still won the Superbowl.

03 Jim Harbaugh - Has been out of the NFL for a while, but has picked the perfect time and spot to get back in.

04 Mike McDaniel - Tua is mid and was exposed at the end of the year. He needs a new QB, but still, his offensive scheme is ridiculous and is the envy of most of the league.

05 Matt LaFleur - I have to give him his props for developing Love at QB, and he has one of the youngest rosters in the league.

06 Shane Steichen - Was the secret sauce for the Eagles as their OC, went to Indy and made Minshew look good. Meanwhile, Philly looked lost on offense without him.

07 Dan Campbell - Rah, Rah can only get you so far. Luckily he has his OC (The brains) back for another year.

08 John Harbaugh - Somebody is a choker. Still trying to figure out if it is Lamar or John.

09 Sean Payton - He better find his QB and fast, or people are going to start thinking Brees carried him, which isn't true.

10 Doug Pederson - Trevor Lawrence was disappointing last year. Doug fixed him in yr 2. But in yr 3 didn't make any progress.

11 DeMeco Ryans - The first defensive coach on the list. Turned around a struggling Texans team immediately and won a playoff game to boot. But was it a fluke? I don't think so, but still needs to prove he can sustain this kind of success before I put him in the top 10.

12 Kevin Stefanski - One of the more overrated coaches in the league for those that don't understand they have the best roster outside of QB in the league.

13 Kyle Shanahan - I had him ranked 10th last year. Down to 13 this year with another infamous choke job!

14 Zac Taylor - I was very critical of Zac in the past, thinking he was carried by Burrow. He showed me last year that isn't the case.

15 Jonathan Gannon - The other Philly Coordinator that was missed. He had the Cards competitive routinely with one of the worst rosters in the league.

16 Kevin O'Connell - Lost his QB and things fell apart last season. He's still a young coach with a bright future.

17 Seah McDermott - Can't win the big game with Allen. His seat has to be getting warm.

18 Mike Macdonald - Rookie HC and the youngest HC in the league. He is the defensive trendsetter and best playcaller in the league on defense, but it is a whole different animal when you become the HC. His last name is not properly cased. Still, he is the highest ranked rookie HC.

19 Mike Tomlin - The 2nd most overrated coach in the league (behind Kyle) Tomlin hasn't won a playoff game in nearly a decade.

20 Mike McCarthy - Can't get it done in the playoffs when it matters. Both in GB and DAL.

21 Brian Callahan - He will fix TENN O-Line, but can he develop Levis? Is the bigger question.

22 Dan Quinn - Quinn will fix WAS defense, particularly takeaways. But he will only be as good as the OC he is paired with.

23 Todd Bowles - I love Bowles as a DC. HC seems like a spot too high if you're trying to win SuperBowls.

24 Brian Daboll - An amazing yr1, followed up by a disastrous yr 2. I have no idea how he was on board with giving Daniel Jones $40M a year. This essentially ended him as the Giants HC.

25 Antonio Pierce - Rah, rah. Can only take yo so far.

26 Robert Saleh - Can coach defense. Like Bowles, he should be a DC.

27 Nick Sirianni - Got exposed without his whizkid coordinators. Will probably be fired after the season.

28 Dave Canalas - Taking on the hardest job available is quite the interesting choice. Don't watch the porno, Dave!

29 Dennis Allen - Can't lead men, so why is he a HC? I have no idea. Great DC though.

30 Raheem Morris - Rich McKay hired him in TB to be the head coach, 20 years later hired him again, but this time in ATL. He should not be a HC.

31 Matt Eberflus - One of the worst coaches in the league, and one of the worst organizations in the league. A match made in heaven.

32 Jerod Mayo - Stop gap. Will be fired in a year or 2.

 

[Palmegranite]

I guess that makes Bill Belichick a super choker too. He's lost 3 of the big games.

 

[Cyrus12]

I seem to recall you worshipping Shanny....

 

[SoulfishHawk]

Rams are tanking, BOOK IT!!!!!!!

 

[Maelstrom787]

hahahahahahahaha.

Kyle is always good for 2 things: Injuring his QBs, and choking in the big game!

Like I've been saying, he is the most overrated HC in football. Now he is scapegoating Wilks for him flubbing the OT coin toss, and choosing to throw the ball over and over in the 2nd half.

The Niners are done as contenders. And I'm enjoying the meltdowns. Thx Kyle.

Ranking all 32 Head Coaches
--------------------------------

01 Sean McVay - Still the one of the youngest coaches in the league. (Insane.) Took a team full of roster fodder, no draft picks and cap space to the playoffs.

02 Andy Reed - The Chiefs were flawed on offense, Mahomes had his worst season, still won the Superbowl.

03 Jim Harbaugh - Has been out of the NFL for a while, but has picked the perfect time and spot to get back in.

04 Mike McDaniel - Tua is mid and was exposed at the end of the year. He needs a new QB, but still, his offensive scheme is ridiculous and is the envy of most of the league.

05 Matt LaFleur - I have to give him his props for developing Love at QB, and he has one of the youngest rosters in the league.

06 Shane Steichen - Was the secret sauce for the Eagles as their OC, went to Indy and made Minshew look good. Meanwhile, Philly looked lost on offense without him.

07 Dan Campbell - Rah, Rah can only get you so far. Luckily he has his OC (The brains) back for another year.

08 John Harbaugh - Somebody is a choker. Still trying to figure out if it is Lamar or John.

09 Sean Payton - He better find his QB and fast, or people are going to start thinking Brees carried him, which isn't true.

10 Doug Pederson - Trevor Lawrence was disappointing last year. Doug fixed him in yr 2. But in yr 3 didn't make any progress.

11 DeMeco Ryans - The first defensive coach on the list. Turned around a struggling Texans team immediately and won a playoff game to boot. But was it a fluke? I don't think so, but still needs to prove he can sustain this kind of success before I put him in the top 10.

12 Kevin Stefanski - One of the more overrated coaches in the league for those that don't understand they have the best roster outside of QB in the league.

13 Kyle Shanahan - I had him ranked 10th last year. Down to 13 this year with another infamous choke job!

14 Zac Taylor - I was very critical of Zac in the past, thinking he was carried by Burrow. He showed me last year that isn't the case.

15 Jonathan Gannon - The other Philly Coordinator that was missed. He had the Cards competitive routinely with one of the worst rosters in the league.

16 Kevin O'Connell - Lost his QB and things fell apart last season. He's still a young coach with a bright future.

17 Seah McDermott - Can't win the big game with Allen. His seat has to be getting warm.

18 Mike Macdonald - Rookie HC and the youngest HC in the league. He is the defensive trendsetter and best playcaller in the league on defense, but it is a whole different animal when you become the HC. His last name is not properly cased. Still, he is the highest ranked rookie HC.

19 Mike Tomlin - The 2nd most overrated coach in the league (behind Kyle) Tomlin hasn't won a playoff game in nearly a decade.

20 Mike McCarthy - Can't get it done in the playoffs when it matters. Both in GB and DAL.

21 Brian Callahan - He will fix TENN O-Line, but can he develop Levis? Is the bigger question.

22 Dan Quinn - Quinn will fix WAS defense, particularly takeaways. But he will only be as good as the OC he is paired with.

23 Todd Bowles - I love Bowles as a DC. HC seems like a spot too high if you're trying to win SuperBowls.

24 Brian Daboll - An amazing yr1, followed up by a disastrous yr 2. I have no idea how he was on board with giving Daniel Jones $40M a year. This essentially ended him as the Giants HC.

25 Antonio Pierce - Rah, rah. Can only take yo so far.

26 Robert Saleh - Can coach defense. Like Bowles, he should be a DC.

27 Nick Sirianni - Got exposed without his whizkid coordinators. Will probably be fired after the season.

28 Dave Canalas - Taking on the hardest job available is quite the interesting choice. Don't watch the porno, Dave!

29 Dennis Allen - Can't lead men, so why is he a HC? I have no idea. Great DC though.

30 Raheem Morris - Rich McKay hired him in TB to be the head coach, 20 years later hired him again, but this time in ATL. He should not be a HC.

31 Matt Eberflus - One of the worst coaches in the league, and one of the worst organizations in the league. A match made in heaven.

32 Jerod Mayo - Stop gap. Will be fired in a year or 2.

Eberflus at 31 is wild after he tightened that defense up and had the team playing hard down the stretch.

Like Gannon, kinda gross roster. Won more than Gannon with a worse quarterback anyway.

 

[pittpnthrs]

Rams are taking, BOOK IT!!!!!!!

What are they taking? Lolol.

 

[Marvin49]

Can always count on Fade for complete non-sense.

 

[SoulfishHawk]

What are they taking? Lolol.

Nice catch. It's a Fade take. It won't age well at all. Like my typing


But since you ask.........they are taking a trip to the playoffs.

 

[JPatera76]

Can always count on Fade for complete non-sense.

That’s the most factual and accurate thing said in this thread

 

[Cyrus12]

What are they taking? Lolol.

Probably the nfc championship...only to lose to Mahomes 2 weeks later...

 

[94Smith]

Shanahan choking as much as you are on your bad takes.

 

[bigskydoc]

Niners are far from done as contenders. They likely take the West again next year, but it will be Rams the year after, and Hawks and Rams will be fighting for the top spot the year after that.

 

[flv2]

I believe the Rams will throw everything, (including 2025 picks and cap space), at competing in 2024. Then they'll blow it all up in 2025. Donald and Stafford only have 1 more year left in them. The Rams will not be taking a rookie QB in the 1st 2 round of the 2024 Draft. I expect the picks to be used on NFL ready players or traded for veterans. The Rams figure to trade 2025 picks during the 2024 seasons to teams whose seasons have gone bad and who are willing to trade stars on expiring contracts.

At least that's what we were led to believe was the plan going into the 2023 season.

I'd be happy if they do something else but that's i'm expecting. Oh, and McVay will quit/retire after 2024.

 

[GemCity]

McVay is a phenom… hate to admit that but, he simply is.

I’d love for him to walk away

 

[Lagartixa]

Rams are tanking, BOOK IT!!!!!!!

Yes. And the Broncos as of the 2022 offseason were an organization being run much better than the Seahawks. And the cap hits for Russell Wilson on the Broncos were going to be very low for how much he'd produce for them. And the Broncos with Wilson were better off than the Chiefs with the overpriced Mahomes. And the Broncos would be among the top title contenders, especially in the first couple of years with Wilson.

How can you tell if a Fade take will look hilariously wrong in a few months? If he's posted it.

EDITED to add: I'm not saying Shanahan didn't make giant mistakes in Super Bowls, especially the last one and the one in which he was Atlanta's OC. He definitely did. But the ordering of coach quality in the original post is about as useful and correct as any random ordering of the 32 NFL head coaches would be.

 

[MizzouHawkGal]

Yes. And the Broncos as of the 2022 offseason were an organization being run much better than the Seahawks. And the cap hits for Russell Wilson on the Broncos were going to be very low for how much he'd produce for them. And the Broncos with Wilson were better off than the Chiefs with the overpriced Mahomes. And the Broncos would be among the top title contenders, especially in the first couple of years with Wilson.

How can you tell if a Fade take will look hilariously wrong in a few months? If he's posted it.

EDITED to add: I'm not saying Shanahan didn't make giant mistakes in Super Bowls, especially the last one and the one in which he was Atlanta's OC. He definitely did. But the ordering of coach quality in the original post is about as useful and correct as any random ordering of the 32 NFL head coaches would be.

Overpriced Mahomes methinks you're jealous. Dude is totally underpaid just like Tom Brady was and he has a serious shot at blowing Tom away.

 

[94Smith]

Overpriced Mahomes methinks you're jealous. Dude is totally underpaid just like Tom Brady was and he has a serious shot at blowing Tom away.

I think it was a Fade take

 

[MizzouHawkGal]

I think it was a Fade take

Fade take?

 

[Maulbert]

Fade take?

Fade, the creator of this thread who's takes are notoriously awful in hindsight. He said Mahomes was overpriced, and was roundly mocked for it.

 

[Lagartixa]

I think it was a Fade take

Fade, the creator of this thread who's takes are notoriously awful in hindsight. He said Mahomes was overpriced, and was roundly mocked for it.

Mais bien sûr!

This is the comment in which the great Fade compares the cap hits for Mahomes over the 2022-2024 seasons to those of Wilson and concludes "Greedy Mahomes needs to be more like good guy Russ and take less if he wants to remain competitive." Since that post, "Greedy Mahomes" has won two more Super Bowls and another MVP award, plus two more Super Bowl MVP awards, while "good guy" Wilson has gone 11-19 as a starter, has appeared in (*checks stats*) zero playoff games (and has therefore continued with his previous total of zero Super Bowl MVP awards), has received (*checks stats*) zero MVP votes, and has been benched in favor of Jarrett Stidham, giving Wilson easily the worst cost/benefit ratio in the NFL. Raise your hand if you think the Broncos and Wilson will make Fade look a little less ridiculous by the Broncos keeping Wilson and making him their starter for 2024, and by the Wilson-led Broncos playing really well and winning Super Bowl LIX. Yeah, me either.

After I pointed out in that same thread that Mahomes was the best player in the league at the time and had been a very deserving league MVP, and since Mahomes was 27 in 2022 (that's the age at which players' athletic performance tends to peak), he might have an even-better season, Fade said in this comment

Why do you expect Mahomes to trend up? His QBR has been trending downward since he won the MVP. 62.2/100 last year. Now he's lost Tyreek Hill, Kelce looked slow last year and is now a year older. Mahomes might have a down year this year. If nobody emerges in their receiving core particularly Valdez-Scantling or Juju. If one of those two don't Mahomes will have a down year. His interception luck has to run out sometime as well.

And now, here's what really happened in Mahomes's age-27 season.
Mahomes led the league in QBR and won league MVP again, and followed that up by winning a second Super Bowl ring. He had the 12th-lowest (12th-best) interception percentage in the league.
Wilson, meanwhile, was 28th in QBR that season, went 4-11 as a starter and got the same number of MVP votes Fade and I did, and obviously had nothing important to do when the good teams were in the playoffs. Wilson had the 20th-lowest (20th-best) interception percentage among starters that season.

This other comment is more related to some of the other hilarious Fade takes in my previous comment than to the bit about Mahomes being overpaid and Wilson being a "good guy" for taking such low cap hits while being such a great QB, but it's pee-your-pants funny, so I'm including some of its best parts here.

I think Wilson is going to do extremely well in Denver.

-> They have a young defense that finished top 5 in both yards and points.

There's nothing that'll grind your once-great defense into dust like putting your offense in the hands of an improviser and three-and-out artist who is constitutionally incapable of running an offense as designed and on schedule. Ejiro Evero and his players did unbelievably well given the circumstances, but I understood completely when the Broncos offered Evero the chance to take over as HC and he turned it down and then later fled the team completely.

-> A better O-Line that is returning 4 of 5 starters. They could easily choose to bring back their RT to make it 5 of 5.

Funny how the OL stopped being a strength. But now I'm wondering how much of it was Wilson and how much of it was Fade saying the Denver OL was better and returning four or possibly all five of its starters.

I'm just kidding. I know Fade saying something doesn't make the opposite happen. Still, it would make me so happy if he were to predict total failure for Macdonald and the Seahawks.

-> They have 3 talented young WRs. And a stud rookie RB going into year 2.

Funny how those "weapons" don't look quite as good after a couple of seasons of playing with worse-than-Lock QBs.

-> Wilson has done a lot more with a lot less in previous seasons.

OK, that's a laugh riot.

-> Wilson isn't really changing offenses, he's going from the Shanny/McVay scheme to the -> Shanny/McVay scheme. QB's in that scheme usually pop in year 2. Next year is year 2 for Wilson.

-> This is the most complete team he has played on since 2015.

And yet...

-> The Broncos still have 3 picks in the top 100, just as many as the Seahawks. They still have 9 picks in this draft.

-> The Broncos still have $30M in cap space.

-> Wilson has something to prove, QBs when they get traded usually tick up from their previous season.

And yet...

And now here comes the funniest part of the entire comment. WARNING: don't read this next quote with any kind of drink in your mouth, nor with any more than about 50 ml of liquid in your bladder. I will not be responsible for destroyed computers or pee-stained undies and furniture.

Contrary to what some might believe, the Donks didn't mortgage the future. They built a team through the draft that is ready to win now, they just needed a QB. Well they got that QB, and still have a ton of picks and cap space to continue to build their team. I will be surprised if they are not in the AFCCG this year, and in the mix every season for the foreseeable future to win the Superbowl.

(Boldface emphasis is mine, and it was hard not to bold the whole damn thing because it's just so incredibly funny)

Well, Fade, all I can say to that is...

SURPRISE!!!