Please critique my Seahawks speech

Erebus

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I'm in a speech class and I have to do a persuasive speech. The topic I chose is to convince people to bet on the Seahawks to win the Super Bowl. Obviously you can't help me with my delivery, but please look over the content and see how I can improve it. I'm looking for more compelling arguments, accuracy, and simply better ways of saying it. I apologize in advance for how long it is.



By a show of hands, how many of you like football?

Okay, and how many of you like money?

All of you? Excellent. Me too.

I’m going to combine the two and financially benefit from my favorite NFL team’s success this year, and it’s my intent today to extend the opportunity for all of you to benefit as well. I’m going to explain to you why it’s a good financial investment to bet on the Seahawks to win the next Super Bowl.

I’m going to cover three main points.

1. They have the most talented team in the NFL. They were so close last year, and they’ve made great moves this offseason to improve even more.
2. Their quarterback Russell Wilson thrives under pressure and is capable of rising up to any challenge.
3. The Vegas pay-out is better than the actual odds.

Now, onto the talent of the team.

Here’s some stats to consider.

Football Outsiders, a company that specializes in football advanced statistical analysis, uses a statistic called Defense-adjusted Value Over Average, or DVOA for short. They review each play from each team during the season and give it a positive or negative value, and then adjust for the quality of the opponent. The Seahawks finished 2012 as the best team in the league in this metric. Finishing strong in DVOA is a huge indicator of future success.

How about Cold Hard Football Facts’ Passer Rating Differential? It’s the difference between a team’s offensive passer rating and the passer rating the defense allows to opposing QBs. 70% of all Super Bowl champions finished in the top 3 in the league in this stat. Last year the Seahawks were #2. That means they are a great passing team and are great at stopping the pass. That’s a recipe for success in today’s pass-driven NFL.

Want a more traditional stat? The defense led the league in fewest points allowed last year.

This is just a glimpse of how good their roster was.

Fast forward to this offseason. They traded for one of the best playmaking WRs in the NFL in Percy Harvin. Before he went down last year with a sprained ankle, he led the league in receptions and yards after the catch and was considered a leading MVP candidate. And this was with one of the worst QBs in the league. Combine him with Russell Wilson and the creative play-calling of OC Darrell Bevell and the sky is the limit on what this offense can do.

They also added two pass rushers. If there was one knock on the defense last year, it was that they didn’t have a consistent pass rush and very little depth behind their starters. Chris Clemons, their best pass rusher, got injured during the playoffs. The same thing could happen again this year, but now that they added two excellent pass rushers, they will be able to overcome a loss like that. And if nobody gets hurt, the overall team pass rush will improve exponentially.

Football Outsiders did a study a few years ago and came to the conclusion that the best way to improve a defense, even an already good one, is to add pass rushers. They wont take sacks away from other players; they will simply add more on their own.

They will have an effective pass rush to go along with the best secondary in the NFL. In the last two years, all four starting defensive backs were either Pro Bowlers or 1st Team All Pros, which means they are the very best at their position in the league. They are a major part of the reason the Seahawks were #2 in the league in Passer Rating Differential.

Now let’s talk a little bit about their star QB Russell Wilson.

He had a phenomenal rookie year last year, despite not getting many reps with the first team offense during training camp and the preseason. Head coach Pete Carroll limited the playbook to bring him along slowly during the first half of the year. Yet he still managed to tie Peyton Manning’s all time rookie TD record (and about a third of the interceptions), and broke the previous rookie record for passer rating. How did he do that with a slow start? An amazing finish over the final 8 games.

He showed incredible improvement week to week. His leadership and work ethics are off the charts. He took every win and loss as an opportunity to learn from it and grow. With a full offseason, training camp, and preseason working with the first team offense, you can be assured he will show even more improvement over the way he finished last year. The biggest improvement made by NFL players is usually between their first and second years.

Not that he even needs to improve (but he will). Consider these clutch situations.

Week 13 at the Chicago Bears. Going into this game, the Bears had the best defense in the league, statistically one of the best all time. The Bears led by 4 with about 3 minutes left. This was considered to be the time when they took the “training wheels” off Wilson. He led an impressive 97 yard TD drive to take the lead. Unfortunately the Bears offense still had time to kick a field goal. Or was that unfortunate? Maybe not. It gave Wilson a chance to shine once more, this time in over time. He led another impressive drive, 80 yards for the game winning TD.

Then there’s the playoff game at the Washington Redskins. The Redskins jumped out to an early 14-0 lead. Did Wilson panic? No. He led a comeback and the Seahawks won 24-14. This was the Seahawks first road playoff win in 30 years. And it was led by a rookie QB.

The next week at the Atlanta Falcons was perhaps his most impressive comeback. The Seahawks had been physically drained from two cross country flights within a week and it showed as they got off to a slow start. They trailed 20-0 at halftime. Did Wilson panic? No, he rose to the occasion once more and led a remarkable comeback. With 30 seconds left, the Seahawks scored the go-ahead touchdown and took the lead 28-27. His only mistake was leaving 30 seconds on the clock.

He's at his best in pressure situations. Great quarterbacks win championships, and Russell Wilson has greatness written all over him.

Now lets talk about betting on the Super Bowl.

According to Vegas casinos, the odds (or payout) for the Seahawks winning the Super Bowl is 10 to 1. Now consider the expected value, which is the payout compared to the odds of winning.

Lets say for example you have a 10% chance of winning something and the payout is 10 to 1. If you keep making that bet, over time you’ll break even. If you have a 20% chance of winning, and still have a 10 to 1 payout, over time you’ll make twice as much money as you bet. Do this bet just once, and get it right, and you’ll have 10 times what you bet.

Based on what I’ve already told you, you should feel confident the Seahawks have at least a 20% chance of winning the next Super Bowl. That’s a bet worth making with 10 to 1 odds.

Wouldn’t Vegas already know how good the Seahawks are and adjust their odds accordingly?

Not necessarily. They balance actual odds with perceived hype. If lots of people are putting money down on certain teams, they adjust the payout so as to not lose money if that team wins. With Seattle’s remote location in comparison to the rest of the country, they don’t get as much national recognition and therefore most people don’t realize just how good they are, and don’t bet on them.

You don’t even need to travel to Vegas to place your bet. You can do it online from the comfort of your own home. There are numerous sports gambling sites.

So now that you know that Russell Wilson is a great QB capable of rising up to any challenge and surrounded by the most talented team in the NFL, you should use this information to improve your short-term financial future by taking advantage of Vegas’s inaccurate odds and place money on the Seahawks winning the next Super Bowl. I know I’m going to.
 

Jake Hawks

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I didnt read any of that but I did a Seahawks informative speech on the Legion of Boom for a speaking class.
 

Jazzhawk

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I just did a Pete Carroll profile on Leadership.
 

bestfightstory

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You missed your most important selling point.

Direct them to Largent80's bookie.

He offers odds more than SIXTEEN times higher than the going rate!
 

HagFaithful

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A+ for choice of topics...

Have you considered framing your speech so that you don't identify the team until the last sentence of your speech? Two reasons: 1) The audience will be active participants in trying to deduce who this mystery team is, making them more likely to follow your logic, sources and data. 2) If you identify the team in your opening statements, you may lose half the room because they are NOT fans of the Hawks, becoming less likely to listen (and hear) the rest of your speech, or worse yet, sit and analyze ways to deteriorate your persuasive argument because they are fans (short for "fanatics", ie, not rationale human beings capable of logic) of the Saints (or some other crap team we're going to steamroll this year).

The first rule of public speaking: know your audience. If you are giving this speech in Seahawks country (Washington), you should be preaching to the choir - the speech is ready to give as-is. If you are anywhere else, you're going to have a tough time convincing or persuading ANYONE to bet on the Hawks to win the SB. If it's the latter, strongly consider not identifying the team until the last sentence.

Reviewing your speech (and if you choose to make this switch), you shouldn't identify the coach (by name), the QB (by name), or any of the offseason additions (by name)...but simply use those generic words "coach", "QB", "recent addition at WR"...unless you want to keep the names in, as a way of giving hints to the audience...and also identifying the REAL football fans in your COM 101 class.

Finally, but potentially early in your speech, hype up how sports betting is a lucrative, money-making career for some people who have done their due diligence. It's not rolling a ball around a table and hoping it lands on your number. This isn't picking a team out of a hat. This isn't the lottery or Keeno where you have a better chance of getting hit by lightning. With proper training, education, and the right diagnostic and statistical tools, some people are making an easy living on sports betting, including the NFL.

~HaG
 
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Erebus

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I took your advice Hag. I did a little bit of editing and put sports betting as the first main point, and withheld the name of the team until the end. I'm in the military with people from all over the country (the class is on base with only military personnel), so there probably wont be any Seahawks fans.

Non-football fans may find it more interesting if I start with how they can make money.
 

HagFaithful

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Erebus":2zui93b5 said:
I took your advice Hag. I did a little bit of editing and put sports betting as the first main point, and withheld the name of the team until the end. I'm in the military with people from all over the country (the class is on base with only military personnel), so there probably wont be any Seahawks fans.

Non-football fans may find it more interesting if I start with how they can make money.

Kinda what I was thinking - you have a two-part persuasion going on here. 1) Convince them that "betting" is a good way to make or invest money and 2) convince them that the Hawks are the best of the 32 options.

Let me know how it goes...and kudos to you for putting your thoughts out there and seeking feedback. That says a lot about a person, IMO. Good luck!
 

Largent80

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bestfightstory":es1bl53o said:
You missed your most important selling point.

Direct them to Largent80's bookie.

He offers odds more than SIXTEEN times higher than the going rate!

:twisted: See's new car in the driveway and laughs demonically. :twisted:
 

chawx

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Largent80":2m70ucmc said:
bestfightstory":2m70ucmc said:
You missed your most important selling point.

Direct them to Largent80's bookie.

He offers odds more than SIXTEEN times higher than the going rate!

:twisted: See's new car in the driveway and laughs demonically. :twisted:

Hook a brother up, Largent80!

I'll put a measly $100 down... going rate is what 6:1? I'll take 96:1 on the Hawks all day!!!

PS. To OP, great job! But I agree with Hag... pull them in with the betting angle—then tell them which team they're going to want to be fans of at the end. :)
 

lvnginhwktwn

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Not bad for your first Sci-fi speech...........lol

I do agree that it needs to be focused more on people that are not already fans, other than that it does sound sincere and convincing.
 

Winterfell

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I wish I could be there to show my support, and be the first one to stand up and initiate "the slow clap." :)
 

two dog

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If they are military, they might like to hear:

The young Quarterback is at his best when things seem their worst.
Cool and calm, time seems to slow down for him.

The coach is not young but coaches young. He persuades rather than
screams at his players. Shares his philosophy and asks them to buy in.
It works, despite being one of the youngest teams in the league, they
are, in their coach's words, big, fast and tough. In other words, they
have bought in.

Just a few thoughts, your own words were just fine.
 

BirdsCommaAngry

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Erebus":vvz5uqxc said:
I’m going to cover three main points.

1. They have the most talented team in the NFL. They were so close last year, and they’ve made great moves this offseason to improve even more.
2. Their quarterback Russell Wilson thrives under pressure and is capable of rising up to any challenge.
3. The Vegas pay-out is better than the actual odds.

Numbers don't resonate with people as much as more personable details and stories. You could lead with #3 as your first main point and order the others so you're setting up how the investment works first, building up the quality of what you want them to invest in second, and topping it off with some story about RW's leadership and late game heroics as the final point. Other than that, I think the only thing you're missing is maybe some examples of other playoff teams who made big off-season moves that lead to a Superbowl win/near win to show why our off-season moves are significant in a larger context. NE getting Moss/Welker and Baltimore getting Boldin would be good fits for this. You could also mention Nate Silver's prowess as an analyst and his endorsement of the FO stats if you feel their stats will seem like a not strong enough argument. Anyhow, that's my too sense. Hope it goes well.
 
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Erebus

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OkieHawk":20xcumus said:
Was this for ALS or NCOA?

Neither, its a college class. Working on CCAF degree. Buckley AFB has a special arrangement with the Community College of Aurora to hold certain classes on base for military personnel.
 
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Erebus

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BirdsCommaAngry":vb709fqr said:
Erebus":vb709fqr said:
I’m going to cover three main points.

1. They have the most talented team in the NFL. They were so close last year, and they’ve made great moves this offseason to improve even more.
2. Their quarterback Russell Wilson thrives under pressure and is capable of rising up to any challenge.
3. The Vegas pay-out is better than the actual odds.

Numbers don't resonate with people as much as more personable details and stories. You could lead with #3 as your first main point and order the others so you're setting up how the investment works first, building up the quality of what you want them to invest in second, and topping it off with some story about RW's leadership and late game heroics as the final point. Other than that, I think the only thing you're missing is maybe some examples of other playoff teams who made big off-season moves that lead to a Superbowl win/near win to show why our off-season moves are significant in a larger context. NE getting Moss/Welker and Baltimore getting Boldin would be good fits for this. You could also mention Nate Silver's prowess as an analyst and his endorsement of the FO stats if you feel their stats will seem like a not strong enough argument. Anyhow, that's my too sense. Hope it goes well.

I already made similar changes based on Hag's advice. I'm starting with sports betting, then talking about the roster, and then talking about how that roster is led by a great QB.

I'll see about fitting in historical precedents for big offseason acquisitions resulting in championships. That would probably fit into the roster segment.
 

Omahawk

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I don't think I like it. I'm sorry. If you want my honest opinion, I think you should twist the speech rather dramatically. Don't scrap it altogether because it's definately a subject matter that will keep you inspired to do the speech well but I don't like the direction you're taking in trying to convince people to gamble on Super Bowl odds as a viable financial plan. Imagine trying to convince someone to bet on green in roulette. that's stretching it to compare those two things but what I'm trying to convey is that by involving gambling of any kind, you've already lost a decent percentage of your audience. By picking the Seahawks out of a field of 32 teams, you've narrowed your audience even further. Now the people who your persuasive speech is targeting are gambling Seahawks fans. You've pretty much already got those people won over. So if I were you, I'd try to rethink the approach a bit. Sorry if I was rude. I wish you the best of luck. The hardest part is actually delivering the speech. For me that was nerve-racking. I always went too fast. Had the timing down perfect in prcatice and then sped through it like crazy when it was go time.
 
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