I'm also on board with DavidSeven, and appreciate many comments, including Dr. Diags', hawknation2014's, sc85sis', and following Kerley's insights, I hope Ray and Janay can look each other in the eyes on a regular basis and know that they are both safe. I hope Ray can refrain from hitting her ever again. Most domestic violence cases don't go that way. Perhaps after they survive the nightmare of this media frenzy, and maybe even because of it, they will have a better chance than most. I'll believe it when I see it.
People in love are capable of doing crazy stuff. People in love with an abuser, even more so. It doesn't make sense. To those confused about her motives, stop trying to apply normal everyday social mores to a psychologically messed up situation. Stop painting the victim, Janay, as a gold-digger or as concerned with the future of her luxurious lifestyle. You think it's common sense, that the puzzle pieces fit, but it's presumptive, stereotyping, baseless, and ignorant of the emotional and psychological shackles of domestic violence. It's also borderline victim-blaming and misogynistic. Just stop.
Maybe it was a one-time thing and Ray learned his lesson. If they're determined to be together, I hope that's true. But none of us know what's in their hearts and minds, and we have no evidence, no hearsay, no reason whatsoever to assume Janay is willing to be beaten – or take the risk of future beatings – in exchange for material comforts.
And to address the "put away your soapboxes" post, which starts with a sarcastic, condescending soap-box statement:
penihawk":20w2as69 said:
Since there are so many here that seem to know every detail of the event and have the ability to read the minds of the parties involved I have some questions not addressed in this thread. Having said that, let me also say I don't condone hitting women.
1) How much was alcohol/drugs a factor of said incident. Not an excuse but many men/women should not drink due to getting mean and aggressive from its effects and judgement goes out the window. Especially when a situation escalates.
Good question. How many drugs and how much alcohol has not been answered. So if we found out, then what? Do the Rices do a PSA about not drinking and getting angry? "Don't get wasted and punch women, kids!" If they were both intoxicated, does the punching and spitting not count, or what? Is there a level of blotto that erases whatever happens next?
penihawk":20w2as69 said:
2) Are we all 100% sure he is the only abuser we have in this case? You all watched the video several hours leading up to Rice making a bad decision in the elevator right? There is no possible way Janay was physically and verbally abusive prior to Rice punching her?
We saw him spit in her face twice, and punch her in the face/head twice. As you point out in the next question, it's good to have a policy already in place for domestic violence. So exactly what kind of "abuse" could Janay have perpetrated in the several hours prior to the elevator ride to deserve being spit on and punched? Being a little "mouthy" and "sassy"? Would that do it? How about slapping him? Maybe she slapped him at the bar over and over and he felt emasculated, so he did the only sensible thing and waited to corner her in an elevator to retaliate. Because Ray was thinking of all the others at the bar and he didn't want to ruin their night just because he and his fiancé were having a little tiff, right?
If knowing what SHE did leading up to being knocked unconscious is that important to you, let's hear where you think the line is that she crossed to deserve it. What? She didn't deserve it? It's not okay to hit women? But what if she was checking out another man? Would that warrant an uppercut? What if she was a little too flirty with the bartender? Left hook? If it's important to know what she did, it must be to inform our knowledge of Ray's actions, huh?
What if she just sat there all night and called him really mean names? What if she told him he was losing a step and Bernard Pierce and Justin Forsett were going to steal carries from him if he didn't get in better shape?! THAT would really change everything, huh? A man can't let that kind of verbal abuse go by unpunished, right? Maybe she threatened his life. Maybe he felt the fear in his bones that she could murder him at any moment and he had to do something about it, right? If only we had the hours of video leading up to the knock out, then we could speak intelligently about Ray Rice's reasons for beating the mother of his child.
penihawk":20w2as69 said:
3) Why is it the responsibility of the NFL to be moral police,judge and jury? They should have policies in place and let the justice system dictate their policy implications. RG was caught with an incomplete policy in place and the legal system went soft on the 2 parties in this case.
Enlighten me on all of this, those that seem to have all the answers or maybe we should just slide the moral soap boxes back in the closet?
Really not sure who you are addressing as "those with all the answers", perhaps you should drop the passive aggressive stance and name names. But to your point, you are correct, the NFL should have had a better policy in place. That's pretty much what everybody has been saying since the NFL announced the 2-game suspension. Remember all that media hullabaloo with the entire sports industry pretty much condemning the light punishment? That was the whole thing that got people who otherwise don't care about football to throw a sideways glance at the shield.
As to the responsibility of the NFL to be moral police, well that's exactly what the owners selected Goodell to do. Before he came along, the Pacman Joneses of the NFL were getting in fights, shootings, drugs, all manner of vices, improprieties, and legal problems with very little recourse from the League. The owners saw this as conduct detrimental to the integrity of their product and Roger wielded his ban hammer. This is still relatively new for the NFL and it seems too often they are making it up as they go along.
I agree with you, they took on the mantle of judge and jury, they put it in the commissioner's job description, and they need to have clearly written punishments for clearly defined crimes. Obviously a conviction in a state court is not the only way to bring negative attention to the NFL. Punching out a mother could do that. Having shoddy policies and bungling a high profile domestic violence case at every turn is a good example of bringing negative attention to the NFL. Sounds like it should be grounds for one of Roger's famously harsh penalties.