West TX Hawk":2y7lenro said:
Suicide, particularly in this situation, is absolutely selfish, cowardly and downright screwed up. Voluntarily taking extra anxiety pills is not an excuse-it likely altered his thought process, but that is on him for abusing them. And frankly, what the hell does a veteran rock star in the business for 30 years have any "anxiety" issues? What a bunch of bs.
If you want to achieve rock and roll immortality, go out and snort up, shoot up and accidentally OD, but do not foolishly hang yourself and leave your family in pain forever-double standard perhaps but perception is the key.
You know the saying, "until you've walked a mile"? Try, "until you have lived in another man's head".
I have anxiety issues. I'm not a rock star, I don't have millions, but I am comfortable, bills are paid. I'm the one you point at and ask "why the hell is she with HIM"? Life is good. At my job where there are 258 people with the same title, I am ranked number 8 nation wide. Nothing to worry about.
Then it hits. No rhyme, no reason, no control. Until you have lived through it, I wouldn't really expect anyone to understand it. I have been dealing with it since April 21st 1994. See? I remember the exact day my demon appeared 23 years later. I could pin it down to a timeframe of somewhere between 7:30-10:00 pm. if you wish.
I am lucky, my attacks come in waves and thank God I only have them a few times a year. Sometimes they last a half an hour, sometimes half a week. I am actually on a pretty good wobbler as I type this, I have had a week long episode and Chris' death certainly hasn't helped as I am a huge fan.
I no longer take medication, mainly because the side effects scare me more than they anxiety. I am not suicidal and I don't want something in my body that could turn me in that direction. I made it through two hours of work Monday then had to go home as I could hardly stand, world spinning, tension, fear, heart palpitations. I spent the next 19 hrs. in bed. If I was taking something, I would have taken more, I can tell you that for sure. The sense of dread, and death coming for you can be overwhelming. I don't know what Chris was dealing with, neither do you, but please don't call it BS. Its not, and its a pretty freaking hard thing to live with.