"I am Pete, head coach of the Seahawks. Defender of secrets of Castle Greyskull."
*Pulls out Russell Wilson*
"This is Russell, my starting quarterback. Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic playbook and said; BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL!"
*Holds up playbook*
"I HAVE THE POWER!"
"Russell became the mighty DangeRuss and I became Coach Carroll, the most powerful coach in the universe!"
*Punches screen*
"Only three others know this secret. Our friends; John Schneider, Paul Allen, and Orco. Together we defend NFC West from the evil forces of Harbaugh."
*Show flashes across the screen on Jeff Fisher, future head coach of Cardinals, and then Harbaugh having the Skeletor laugh*
At least that's how it all played out in my head.