I've seen all these before over the years but they still are worth a laugh.


And we really wonder, what does our schools teach?????



Washington DC Airport Ticket Agent (unbelievable)]


A Washington DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of why the US is in so much trouble:

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts...''

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts; Cape Town is in South Africa ...''
His response -- click...

3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, 'Don't lie to me!, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very THIN state!!'' (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?''

I said, ''No.''

She said, ''But they look so close on the map'' (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas ... When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'

He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''

After putting him on hold for a minute while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage..

8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?''

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from Ala. who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''

10 Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola and fly on a commuter plane.

She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''

11 Mary Landrieu, La. Senator, called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''

I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''

12 A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .''

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''

'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere."

''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo, do you?''

The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''

Now you know why the Government is in the shape it's in!

Could ANYONE be this DUMB?

YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.

I don't originate it, I just offer it for your consideration. Like manure, you just gotta spread it around.

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Still missing you everyday pal.

This isn't true, but it's still damned funny. I'm sure every single one of these circumstances has happened with an airline ticketing agent at some point, but the named politicians are probably innocent of most of them.

Funny, yes, but of course all of the named congresscritters are Democrats (see Roland's Snope's link), so it's RW propaganda of the worst sort, too.

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Talent can get you to the playoffs.
It takes character to win when you get there.

Fixed that for you, sutz. I didn't even notice that all the named politicians were Democrats, lol. Doesn't surprise me, obviously. *shrug*

I honestly didn't laugh.

I usually laugh at Radish's smack shack ones too .

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RIP ROAD WOES 12/2/2012

Yes everyone here is so dialed in to find some political connection and either yay/nay it they have forgotten how to just laugh.

Pretty much the way the political branches are too.

Most of you need to take the train to Hawaii.

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Still missing you everyday pal.

If we take the train, I hope I get a seat facing forward. I get motion sickness when I ride backward.

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That's weak sauce!

You sure know a lot about riding the "train".

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RIP ROAD WOES 12/2/2012

As long as there are better comedians on that train

Come on. 1 out of the 1,000 jokes you have posted wasn't humorous to me. That's still a better ratio than Jeff Dunham.

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RIP ROAD WOES 12/2/2012

I'm pretty sure you "fixed" that for you.

_________________
Talent can get you to the playoffs.
It takes character to win when you get there.

I'm willing to wager that a thousand of our members shook their heads like I did and thought...then it must be you.

Cause Jeff Dunham is a funny guy. Especially when he's in his WALTER mode. Oh sorry, is that you?

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Still missing you everyday pal.

Jeff Dunham!?!? NOOOO!! He's the worst!

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RIP ROAD WOES 12/2/2012

Duh; but are you saying it isn't true? You can't be that stupid.