Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment. This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .
* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala ..
* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or
2) Going to ball games, or
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
4) Beer or
5) Tattoos.

These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.
Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

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On to the Next Episode

Sad thing is that this isn't far from the truth.

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He is hold back the legion of boom - skater18000

Awesome.

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Man, I've been stimulating the economy for years and I didn't even realize it.

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Legal Notice: Any references made by the online entity know as SacHawk 2.0 or "Sac" in regards to "Currystopstheruns" being a pre-op tranny with an anal tampon fetish are entirely accurate.

Option 3 & 4 & 5 for me... thank you very much!

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Member formally known as AC59

Tell me they aren't really going to try and pass another stimulus....

I can't say that Obama doesn't want another stimulus, but it's highly unlikely it would take this form. I am guessing this was leftover from the Bush stimulus plan.

Not quite, you've been stimulating yourself for years.

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That's weak sauce!

Did you hillbillies really use your stimulus checks to buy TV's?

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Tanzania¹²

Who doesn't spend their checks on hookers? It's common sense, duh.

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"Are we rockin' and rollin' or what?!''

-- Seattle coach Pete Carroll, celebrating with his coaches after the Seahawks pulled off a trade with the Jets, netting running back Leon Washington on Saturday, via Seahawks.com

since we all know that hookers are only hookers because they need money for drugs and most drugs come from south of the border, then shouldn't that be in the "bad" ways to spend your money section?

boinking drunk tattooed prostitutes at a ballgame trumps all bad money making decisions, that's an unwritten man rule. why it's as American as baseball and apple pie..

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On to the Next Episode

No, a lot of my friends put it right into their bank accounts, which ALSO wasn't the idea.

So nice to know that our economic well-being is in the hands of people who don't even understand consumer spending habits.

_________________
GO HAWKS!!!

Visit my Seahawks blog at 17power.blogspot.com!

Follow me on Twitter at @17power

Yeah but I'm sure the banks didn't mind.

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Tanzania¹²

If they put in the banks than that means more money for the bank to spend and invest. Not the worst thing to do as far as to "stimulate".

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RIP ROAD WOES 12/2/2012

Awesome is right! And yes, spend it on beer, but only on American microbrews.

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I blog, I tweet. When I'm not writing or goofing around on Seahawks.NET.

And considering the big banks got the gov in their pockets, boom. Maybe exactly the idea.

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Tanzania¹²

If economic stimulus is supposed to, yanno, actually stimulate the American economy, why not give the money to U.S. small businesses? That way we know 100% of the money will go exactly where they say they want it to go.

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I blog, I tweet. When I'm not writing or goofing around on Seahawks.NET.

What the hell does that even mean? Give the money to small business?

Does that mean I get a big check?

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RIP ROAD WOES 12/2/2012

It means exactly what it says. Instead of the government handing out stimulus checks to every American taxpayer to stimulate the economy, why wouldn't it be a good idea if they instead gave those checks out to every American-owned business? Wouldn't that be a better idea, seeing as they want the stimulus to go to American business? Wouldn't that go 100% to American business instead of mostly to Taiwan and Japan and China and India and such?

If one buys into the whole "stimulus helps the economy" argument, wouldn't this be the best of all worlds?

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I blog, I tweet. When I'm not writing or goofing around on Seahawks.NET.