This completely broke me up cause its so true......


Everyone reading this will enjoy it - no matter which gender you are..........

This morning on the Interstate,
I looked over to my left and there was a

Woman

In a brand new Cadillac

Doing 65 mph


With her
Face up next to her
Rear view mirror

Putting on her eyeliner

I looked away
For a couple seconds...

TO CONTINUE SHAVING

And when I looked back she was

Halfway over in my lane


Still working on that makeup

As a man,
I don't scare easily

But she scared me so much;
I dropped

My electric shaver

Which knocked

The doughnut

Out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying
To straighten out the car

Using my knees against

the steering wheel

It knocked

My Cell Phone

Away from my ear


Which fell

Into the coffee

Between my legs!

Splashed, And burned
Big Jim and the Twins,

ruined the damned phone,
soaked my trousers,
and disconnected an
important call.

Damned women drivers!

=

_________________

Still missing you everyday pal.

Electric razor? Must be new to commuting. I give myself a hot towel shave with a straight blade every morning on the interstate while I make pancakes on my griddle in the passenger seat. I almost spilled some of the batter the other day while mixing it because some noob with an electric shaver and a donut swerved into my lane because some crazy chick was putting on her eyelin...hey, wait a minute...

_________________
President of the Perfect Parents Society - est. 2013