Preference: Same Bed or Seperate Beds?

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Preference: Same Bed or Seperate Beds?
Tue Oct 08, 2013 8:36 am
  • (Note, I'm banned from the shack or else I'd post this there)

    So, I'm speaking STRICTLY about actually sleeping with your GF or BF, here. None of that "other stuff", you creeps engage in...JUST SLEEP. If you had your true preference, would you sleep alone?

    Granted, I'm not a cuddly type. Based on my research (asking girls), the softest cuddling types are the "manly", hunting, "Cabela's dictates my masculinity" types. But, even if you're not a cuddler, is there any better feeling than when you're significant other gets out of bed, and you can then spread out a bit?

    I've always been a "welp, okay, that's done, I'm going to go sleep somewhere else" guy. I've always just slept in a separate bed. Even before I bought my house, my apartments we're two bedroom if co-habituating with a girl. When I lived alone, I'd just go sleep on the couch if someone stayed over. It's just way better, IMO. And yeah, I have a California King.

    Am I alone in this?
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  • You're probably not alone, but I think you're in a very distinct minority. Same bed is definitely my preference.
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  • RolandDeschain wrote:You're probably not alone, but I think you're in a very distinct minority. Same bed is definitely my preference.


    Yep. This just hasn't been a common practice in American households for the better part of 50 years.
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  • RolandDeschain wrote:You're probably not alone, but I think you're in a very distinct minority. Same bed is definitely my preference.


    I felt slightly vindicated when Larry David said he doesn't like it either, in his latest film. But, you're probably right.
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  • There's a pretty big psychological component to it if the woman is someone you love. It just seems strange to me to prefer a separate bed if you love the woman, unless she kicks in her sleep a lot, or something like that.
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  • I go to sleep while my wife is at work (she's at the hospital until 11:30PM) so I get the best of both worlds. I find it easier to fall asleep if I'm the only one in the bed.
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  • I remember my grandparents had separate bedrooms. Grandma had the master, with the big bed and bath, Grandpa had his little bedroom, with his twin bed.

    Thought it was odd as a kid, but as I get older I get it now. Seems like an option that can work for some couples.
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  • RolandDeschain wrote:There's a pretty big psychological component to it if the woman is someone you love. It just seems strange to me to prefer a separate bed if you love the woman, unless she kicks in her sleep a lot, or something like that.


    Not universal. The women I lived with, I most certainly loved, and still do. I'm still great friends with them.

    They didn't like it, but definitely understood. It was the cost of "having a man that raises the kids, cooks, cleans and shops" one of them put it.

    And, no offense Twisted, but I wouldn't sleep with your grandma either.
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  • I should also note that my in-laws sleep in separate rooms because my father-in-law can keep my light sleep mother-in-law awake with his snoring.
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  • Am I the only one here that thinks Pehawk actually seems precisely like the GILF (Grandma I'd Like to ****) type? Not trying to derail the thread, but not wanting to sleep with Twisted's grandma seems against the grain for Pehawk.

    Carry on.

    In regards to the actual conversation, loud snoring/light sleeper is totally a legitimate reason for separate beds or rooms, Sarlacc. Pe's discussion is about preference not based on something like that though, I think.
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  • My therapist told me once my instincts we're paternal, not maternal. If I had mommy issues, I'd be into the things you suggest. I have a cousin who grew up with a very absent father, and surprise surprise, she dates older men. But, if you're raised lacking either parents, the symptom is paternal. You adopt both caregiver roles. You do everything. It's actually kind of fascinating.

    And yes Roland, this is what the topic's about. I like human behavior.
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  • twisted_steel2 wrote:I remember my grandparents had separate bedrooms. Grandma had the master, with the big bed and bath, Grandpa had his little bedroom, with his twin bed.

    Thought it was odd as a kid, but as I get older I get it now. Seems like an option that can work for some couples.


    My grandparents had the EXACT same arrangement! Right down to the bed sizes...amazing.

    As for my own preference. I prefer to sleep with my wife, but I'm very conscious of the fact that my snoring has gotten worse over time. So I take steps every night to minimize it so I don't keep her up; take an Advil Cold and Sinus pill every night, use a nose strip (they work great...I even use one if I sleep alone now), and I use some saline nose spray every night.
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  • My wife and I probably rotate more couch time than co-bed time. We're both power snorers, tend to get sprawly, etc. First one to sleep wins, 'cause the other ain't getting settled with all that goin' on.
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Re: Preference: Same Bed or Seperate Beds?
Tue Oct 08, 2013 11:56 am
  • Here's how you sleep with the Mrs. and still feel like you're sleeping alone...........marry someone 5'2" tall that weighs 115 (petite!) and sleep in a king sized bed. She's there the whole night but not crammed up against you, even if you're 6'7" like I am. Space AND togetherness!
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Re: Preference: Same Bed or Seperate Beds?
Tue Oct 08, 2013 12:48 pm
  • I am a snorer. As much as we want to sleep in the same bed together, we find some of our best sleep is when I go to the spare room. I sleep in the spare room maybe twice or three times a week. At first, we thought this was an assault or statement about our marriage. Now we know that's not the case. We're celebrating our 11th year wedding anniversary next month. Sure, no marriage is perfect, but we're doing pretty darn good all things considered, but not sleeping in the same bed 7 days a week does not effect us negatively, but positively.
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Re: Preference: Same Bed or Seperate Beds?
Tue Oct 08, 2013 12:55 pm
  • My GF kicks and moves around a lot in her sleep. We got a King sized bed and that helped a lot, but I still sleep a night or two per week in the spare bedroom. I just sleep better spreading out however I like and not being concerned about it.
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  • hawksfansinceday1 wrote:Here's how you sleep with the Mrs. and still feel like you're sleeping alone...........marry someone 5'2" tall that weighs 115 (petite!) and sleep in a king sized bed. She's there the whole night but not crammed up against you, even if you're 6'7" like I am. Space AND togetherness!



    Exactly. My wife and I are those exact sizes. Even with her taking more than her fair share there is plenty of room in a king bed.
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  • pehawk wrote:(Note, I'm banned from the shack or else I'd post this there)


    What wait? How do you get banned from the Shack? Impressive.
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  • twisted_steel2 wrote:
    pehawk wrote:(Note, I'm banned from the shack or else I'd post this there)


    What wait? How do you get banned from the Shack? Impressive.


    Thank you.
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  • Of course, Pehawk's proud of that fact.
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  • RolandDeschain wrote:Of course, Pehawk's proud of that fact.


    Would you prefer I act like I wouldn't be proud of it, then act like I am proud once banned, like our resident "King Douchebag" award winner?

    I'm actually not proud of it. And, hopefully I'll get the rights back. But, I was told "I don't care about the site, its members, I'm a horrible human being, yap...yap...yap". So, as Russell Wilson once said "you cant control people's perceptions".
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  • I didn't say I was proud of that fact. I said I was trolling that thread pretty well after the first page to win it. They are not at all the same things.

    Also, don't even get within a mile of comparing yourself to Russell Wilson.
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  • RolandDeschain wrote:I didn't say I was proud of that fact. I said I was trolling that thread pretty well after the first page to win it. They are not at all the same things.

    Also, don't even get within a mile of comparing yourself to Russell Wilson.


    I didn't compare myself to Russell Wilson, I quoted him. For a man that likes to wear proper sentence structure and spelling as a gimmick, you're reading comprehension skills seem lacking.
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  • Yeah, lecture me on reading comprehension while mistaking "you're" for "your" while thinking "can't" doesn't need an apostrophe.

    You implied a correlation with your quote. His quote is about the perception that he can't play QB because of his height, and as it turns out, everyone was wrong.

    You can't help the fact that you THINK people are wrong about you? Give me a break. Don't pretend you weren't trying to say anything about yourself with that RW quote. Most of us aren't stupid enough to believe that.

    Even when you're banned from the shack, you can't help but start shack-esque threads that just go downhill.
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  • Same bed.

    I curl up in the fetal position at the foot of the bed and wait for the truckers to finish their business with the Mrs.
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  • Roland, you made it go downhill by implying I have a GILF fetish. And doing another veiled troll with "of course you're proud of it". You did, no one else. That was you, not me. Everyone else contributing to the thread, not taking shots at me.

    And, the point is, if people think that of me, then they'll read my comments that way. I'm sorry you failed to comprehend that, truly, because you ruined a thread. Or, trolling using your venacular.
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  • Of course, you're not drawing attention to yourself by letting everyone know you got banned from the shack to draw a reaction, then responding to said reaction, right?

    It's alright, Pe, I'm sure nobody else saw what you did there.

    I'll leave the thread now so you can pretend you merely wanted honest down-to-Earth discussion in the first place.
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  • I'm not in a relationship, nor do I see myself in one soon... But being as I'm sick today I just want to say it'd be nice if I had someone to rub me down, make chicken noodle soup, and watch spongebob on Netflix with me.

    So yeah I'd share a bed.
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  • If you notice it was only your troll which coaxed a response. Don't you have some; grammar correction, hey guys I hate apple, I found some stats, 49ers troll threads to publish?

    Just shut up and quit being an internet, self-important, asshat. You stepped in here, to troll, pure and simple. You're a gimmick, a puppet, a rube, a work who's only existence is online. So, beat it.
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  • With no wife in bed to absorb my nightly moving of methane, it is NO fun.
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  • But it doesn't feel the same without Pe in the Shack, not eem gon' lie, breh.
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  • Throwdown wrote:not eem gon' lie, breh.


    better.
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  • Hawk Strap wrote:Same bed.

    I curl up in the fetal position at the foot of the bed and wait for the truckers to finish their business with the Mrs.


    It's something wrong with you. :lol:
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  • I like to be able to feel on a booty so samesies.
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  • I will admit I sleep better when I am in bed by myself. the wife is twitchy :D and we have one of those sleep number beds and my side is 95 which is like concrete and her side is like a sandbox so I can always shove her downhill to her side of the bed if I feel like it :D

    Most of you snorrers probably have a at least a mild case of sleep apnea, my wife hated sleeping with me sawing logs all night, I got a mouthpiece and I feel so much better when I wake up. I recommend it for anyone who snores !
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  • With the wife, definitely same bed, to the point where if she's out of town or i'm out of town the other has problems sleeping.

    Back in the day with casual not daily visitors, i'm finding my own bed if its not too far, value a good nights sleep too much.
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  • Trenchbroom wrote:
    hawksfansinceday1 wrote:Here's how you sleep with the Mrs. and still feel like you're sleeping alone...........marry someone 5'2" tall that weighs 115 (petite!) and sleep in a king sized bed. She's there the whole night but not crammed up against you, even if you're 6'7" like I am. Space AND togetherness!



    Exactly. My wife and I are those exact sizes.........

    Wow, you married a seriously big chick.....
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Re: Preference: Same Bed or Seperate Beds?
Wed Oct 09, 2013 11:49 am
  • I like having my wife in bed with me, and I prefer it, even though I usually sleep better if I'm alone.
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  • I let the wife nuzzle up to me cus that's what she likes and it helps her feel safe and fall asleep but once she's asleep she moves to her side of the king sized bed.
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  • i wouldnt say i "prefer" either way. every co-habitation has been same bed. save for the random argument or whatever and i get banished to the couch.

    my parents on the other hand have seperate rooms. dad had really bad sleep apnea and even though he now has a machine, they find it easier to have seperate rooms. he likes going to bed early, she likes laying in bed and watching TV or reading. it works for them.
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  • RolandDeschain wrote:Of course, you're not drawing attention to yourself by letting everyone know you got banned from the shack to draw a reaction, then responding to said reaction, right?

    It's alright, Pe, I'm sure nobody else saw what you did there.

    I'll leave the thread now so you can pretend you merely wanted honest down-to-Earth discussion in the first place.


    I saw, I saw!

    Failed to care, but still...

    Back on topic, noticing things and not realizing I should be motivated in some way by them is probably a key point of contention in my marriage AND my sleep arrangements. I'm kinda socially oblivious like that.
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  • That's called "Larry David" syndrome, Trav. And the Smack Shack comment was more my juvenile, teenage-level rebellion and an actual disclaimer to keep it on the up n up.

    I had a "friend" stay over last night. I read in bed with her for about an hour, until she was totally out, then got up and shuffled off to the spare room. So, really, she got to fall asleep with someone. Good 'nuff.
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