Women

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Re: Women
Fri Sep 27, 2013 4:04 pm
  • Always Fierce wrote:Here's my predicament:


    The nice-guy approach pretty much never works. Things get boring and bland real fast and I feel like I'm giving up my man-card when I do so.

    On the other hand, being a smug, cocky, funny, somewhat arrogant person works for a time, but whenever I feel like things are starting to get to the point where they might be somewhat serious, I wind up pulling away. Maybe its a fear of getting hurt so I tend to be the one that shuts it down first.

    So basically, how does one be nice and genuine without coming across as a pussy?


    Let me guess... Tom Leykis fan? Being a manly jerk is supposedly for one-night stands according to him... For low self-esteem women looking to be ravaged by a testosterone-laden manly man. That may work for some I guess, but the funny nice guy angle has always worked for me, for one-nighters and for first dates that have turned into relationships. Chicks love funny guys that are nice. Why wouldn't they? Maybe if you act like a pussy while being funny and nice... Well, I could see that being a problem. Grow some stubble and lower your voice... and get to work on that six-pack! :lol: J/k, but I think you kinda get my drift right? It's an attitude thing. You can be manly while being a nice guy too. I guess it's kind of hard to explain. I think maybe it's something that comes natural. I don't remember ever working on it, it was just me being me. So maybe I would say just be yourself if you want to find a woman that you could actually share your whole life with. Eventually you find one that likes you for what you are, and you don't have to fake it the rest of your life. How's that for sage advice? And I never understood the asshole angle, and I would be incapable of doing it anyway... Not in my makeup. Don't put too much stock in the man-card thing. I save that for when I'm out at the gun range with my buddies. We're talking about women here, and their tastes are as varied as anyone else. It's just a matter of finding the one that's down with what you're all about. Seems hard, but most people eventually stumble across "the one" completely by accident... I didn't find my wife by looking for her, we just basically lucked into each other (at least "I" feel I lucked out! :D) Just be patient, and the odds are in your favor that it'll happen. And get out there. The more women you meet, the greater the odds. Millions of fish in the sea buddy. Good luck!

    P.S. You gotta get rid of that fear of being hurt, or you ain't getting nowhere! Trust me, I'm the worst person I know at going through a breakup! I've been physically ill and jealous and wanting to kill myself for months after being broken up with. It sucks more than anything I've ever gone through, and I've gone through it 3 or 4 times. But you gotta suck it up, let time heal the wound, then get on with your life and onto your next conquest. If you break stuff off before it gets going out of fear of being hurt, you're stuck in the mud man...

    Oh, and one more edit: Have you tried any of the myriad dating websites? I think I heard that nowadays, MOST new relationships are formed through one of these sites. Hell, I met my wife on a pre-internet Bulletin Board system in 1991! If you use one of these, be completely honest answering all the questions, and those women that would like you for what you are will find you! I would totally do that if I wasn't already married!

    And if all that failed for me, there are some total hotties available from Russia and Thailand if you got some cash! :lol:
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Re: Women
Sun Sep 29, 2013 1:16 pm
  • ^^ Nicely put!

    Personally as a woman I would agree that somewhere between the two extremes seems to about right. I like a guy who has a sensitivity and knows what his heart is for but can roll with the punches when life throws one his way.

    That's what I've got in my hubby of 9 years!! :)
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Re: Women
Tue Oct 01, 2013 4:29 am
  • I agree, so true, thanks for the great advice! I guess I'm just very skeptical about marriage and long-term relationships in general - as the vast majority of people I've known in life have had theirs fail miserably.
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Re: Women
Tue Oct 01, 2013 7:09 am
  • BlueThunder wrote:Women aren't that hard, but it takes a decade or two to figure out the sweet-spot (through some unfortunate trial and error) to make your life and theirs tolerable for co-existence. Just a few tips from my 20-year marriage off the top of my head for a successful marriage:

    1. Don't EVER forget milestones on the calendar (birthdays, anniversaries, etc). This is the 21st century, and there are now apps for that.
    2. Get a DVR. When your gal is trying to have a conversation with you, hit pause, act like you care and get the gist of what she's babbling about, but don't engage too much or she'll keep going. Then when she's done, say "yeah, that's pretty cool" or whatever fits the situation, then get back to your show/game.
    3. A daily "Love You" goes farther than you think it would/should.
    4. Know all her friends and family's names. I've found this to be very important!
    5. And for Christ's sake, make sure she comes AT LEAST once before you do. I can't stress this enough! :34853_doh: Extra points for a little post-action cuddling and not just saying "thanks", and rolling over and going to sleep.
    6. Flowers or little thoughtful doo-dads from out of nowhere for no reason gets you so many extra points!
    7. Don't complement any other woman for any physical attribute EVER... No matter how drunk you are! Mentioning that the woman on tv seems extremely intelligent, especially if she's ugly, "should" be ok...
    8. If an argument ensues, and you realize it is breathtakingly petty, let her win... Like it matters, ya know?
    9. No physical contact in anger, ever, under any circumstances unless she is lunging at you with a 12" butcher knife. And if she's doing that, you probably have it coming.
    10. Do something, anything occasionally to let her know that she is important to you. That's for you to figure out.


    This is all I can think of right now off the top of my head, but these fast and pretty damn simple rules should keep your relationship intact. It's worked for me for 20 years, and we've pretty much realized that we don't have enough of a reason to get divorced. Success! WHOOHOO!

    Is this pretty accurate, ladies that are on this board? Do you have any other nuggets to offer?


    Lad that is hilarious you had me pissing myself ....all so true though the real guide ^^^^
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Re: Women
Wed Oct 02, 2013 5:20 pm
  • Always Fierce wrote:I agree, so true, thanks for the great advice! I guess I'm just very skeptical about marriage and long-term relationships in general - as the vast majority of people I've known in life have had theirs fail miserably.


    Glad you like my advice, but just because people you know failed shouldn't have any effect on how you approach your relationships. They are not you. You have your own life, and theirs shouldn't affect how you run yours. Some people make conscious decisions to remain single their entire lives. Though it does have that undeniably attractive aspect, I just find it far better to have that one person that you share your life with, as one couple. To take vacations with. Share a movie with. Spend a day gardening with while chatting about whatever when you're both retired. All those different shared experiences over the duration of your lives. I would be SO lonely if something happened to my wife. I so look forward to seeing her every day and being so comfortable with another human being. It's a good thing for sure. But that's just me. I would encourage you to keep looking, while not trying TOO hard. Just let it happen, and then give it a chance to grow, and don't shut it down for fear of future pain. And that's all I got to say about that.
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Re: Women
Thu Oct 17, 2013 5:09 am
  • Do you all like it when a woman KNOWS she is sexy and projects that attitude and confidence outward, or does it annoy you?

    Met this one woman yesterday, man oh man she was hot and knew and dressed the part. I became uncomfortable when she stood close to me and she looked at me with almost a smirky look like she was expecting me to check out her boobs or ass overtly.
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Re: Women
Sun Oct 20, 2013 7:57 pm
  • yes, sexy girls do in fact know that they are sexy.

    I wouldn't recommend smothering her with compliments because she is use to it. You got to be different and more "mysterious" by not showing your cards right away. Perhaps one little compliment to let her know your interested.
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Re: Women
Sun Oct 20, 2013 8:15 pm
  • MontanaHawk05 wrote:My mother once told me, "Son, we don't WANT to be figured out. It makes us feel nervous." I am still single at age thirty.


    You got to stop running trains.
    I enjoy ruining threads by making them about personal attacks and then commenting about how personal attacks make the other person's argument invalid.

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Re: Women
Sun Oct 20, 2013 11:14 pm
  • Always Fierce wrote:Do you all like it when a woman KNOWS she is sexy and projects that attitude and confidence outward, or does it annoy you?

    Met this one woman yesterday, man oh man she was hot and knew and dressed the part. I became uncomfortable when she stood close to me and she looked at me with almost a smirky look like she was expecting me to check out her boobs or ass overtly.


    She doesn't sound like long term material. Pass.

    Long term happiness is more about a personality match than a hotness rating. Don't worry about what other people think of her, if you like her and she makes you happy, none of the rest matters.

    If you're with a girl and the 'nice guy thing' gets boring, you're probably not that interested in her. Don't bother with a 'routine' just be yourself and when you find a girl you have fun with and it never gets boring, put a ring on her finger then shut down that part of your brain that wants to chase other girls and you'll do fine.

    It's easy to make a marriage last, if you really want it to. Divorce is not an option in my opinion and my wife agrees.
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Re: Women
Sun Oct 20, 2013 11:29 pm
  • Lots of men are avoiding the ring of binding these days. There's just not a lot in it for men when it comes to marriage. Women don't bring a whole lot to the table. Unless you really want kids for some reason (we already have enough people on earth clogging up the freeways and taking up all the good parking spots), you're probably better off not giving that succubus your address. Keep your freedom, sanity and money by staying single. Get a girlfriend if you're lonely, just don't sign anything.

    Am I afraid of commitment? No, I'm terrified of commitment. There's a reason why the word "committed" also means "confined against your will."

    "Honey Warden, can I leave the big house and see my friends tonight?"

    Youngsters, listen to the old, beaten down married men in this thread but realize and avoid their biggest mistake.

    That's if you're actually getting laid.

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Re: Women
Tue Oct 22, 2013 6:47 am
  • I can totally relate to both of the above posters, coming from a divorced household myself I never would want to subject any kids to that.

    However, I don't really feel any burning desire to have kids, and I'm in my 30s. A big reason I've probably shyed away from long-term relationships and especially marriage to this point.

    I love the idea of a long-term relationship, and having a soulmate so to speak, but fear having kids and the stressors of life in general shaking down the foundations.
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Re: Women
Tue Oct 22, 2013 6:57 am
  • Dreadbelch wrote:Lots of men are avoiding the ring of binding these days. There's just not a lot in it for men when it comes to marriage. Women don't bring a whole lot to the table. Unless you really want kids for some reason (we already have enough people on earth clogging up the freeways and taking up all the good parking spots), you're probably better off not giving that succubus your address. Keep your freedom, sanity and money by staying single. Get a girlfriend if you're lonely, just don't sign anything.

    Am I afraid of commitment? No, I'm terrified of commitment. There's a reason why the word "committed" also means "confined against your will."

    "Honey Warden, can I leave the big house and see my friends tonight?"

    Youngsters, listen to the old, beaten down married men in this thread but realize and avoid their biggest mistake.

    That's if you're actually getting laid.

    The Golden Tenets of Leykis:
    http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=508421&page=1


    Marriage is great if you find the right partner, 32 years with mine!

    Today, relationships are too much like politics, no one wants to compromise. Everyone wants it their way or the highway.

    When you find the right one, you want the best for them before you want it for yourself.
    And this post is not directed at anyone personally.
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Re: Women
Tue Oct 22, 2013 3:18 pm
  • Always Fierce wrote:Do you all like it when a woman KNOWS she is sexy and projects that attitude and confidence outward, or does it annoy you?

    Met this one woman yesterday, man oh man she was hot and knew and dressed the part. I became uncomfortable when she stood close to me and she looked at me with almost a smirky look like she was expecting me to check out her boobs or ass overtly.


    It annoys me because those women often use their beauty to try and get something out of others, perhaps respect or cooperation or just things done for them, instead of doing it with their work or character or decision-making. That kind of woman isn't the kind I want to wake up next to day after day, decade after decade, without makeup and with a baby screaming in the other room.
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Re: Women
Tue Oct 22, 2013 3:45 pm
  • Women that go over and above to project that sexiness and attitude have the depth of a puddle. They are good for a throw, but nothing further. Or they are completely insane.

    You wonder how to act? What to be like? Act like yourself, sure, put the best parts of you out there initially, but don't be a fraud, you can't build anything if the foundation is rotten. Also, treat women like anybody else. If she is blindingly hot, talk to her like she has more to her than that, show an interest beyond physical. Hot women have had guys embarrass themselves in front of them their whole life. The guys they are interested in are the guys that treat them like anyone else.

    Also, you are no more desirable to a woman than when you appear unattainable or aloof. If you act like you don't give a damn they will suddenly be more interested. If you look at the ground and shuffle your feet, she'll lose interest. I don't know the why, but that is the what.

    In regards, the fear of committing to a relationship, that's life! All that emotion, the angst, the pain, the lust, the happiness, that whole life cycle of a relationship is part of life. Go through it, even have it rip you down to your core, be totally crushed and defeated, and then get up and soldier on.
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Re: Women
Thu Oct 24, 2013 8:14 pm
  • I'm currently stuck in that "Every single girl I find attractive has a boyfriend" phase.
    Any one of you brahs got advice? Seriously every girl i've talked to that i've liked in the past 3 months has a boyfriend. And yes I do facebook stalk to vertify this and no they are not lying

    And some who are single have like 3 kids. Like serious, i thought every girl in college was single and just wanted to get laid.
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Re: Women
Thu Oct 24, 2013 8:49 pm
  • I didn't get married until my mid 30's. No, it wasn't due to lack of opportunity and pathetic weeping loneliness. Finally settled down with my wife because she was more like my best friend to hang out with than the usual 'that chick I'm seeing that I either can't really be bothered with OR the one I'm paranoid is off banging someone else as we speak, etc.'.

    I'm not naturally a commitment type guy, and even after so many years of work on myself I'm still just not naturally tuned to seeing beyond my immediate situation. That kind of present focus can make you swing from 'This is bull@*&#, I'm outta here!' to 'Everything is just fine' over the course of a day. I tend to write off past experience as not necessarily relevant, and future plans as unreliable. It's HORRIBLE for long-term planning, but -- There it is.

    You make it work however it works for you if you really want it to work.

    As far as the original hooking up part goes, I don't have good advice. I sucked at dating. Basically, I went with the approach of 'Be a reasonably decent performing musician' and as a result developed absolutely NO skills in meeting and/or asking out women. The musician method of getting laid is just 'stop resisting'. Then you date the ones you can still have tolerable conversations with later.

    Anyway, after I got away from that image/role/facade I didn't really have any 'opener', so to speak. I'd go through huge dry stretches wondering just why the hell I wasn't having any luck, only to find out later that there were plenty of women who'd wanted me to ask them out. Just never occurred to me to need to do so -- In my experience, if they were interested, they'd be all brazen about it.

    Man, one of the best unmentioned fringe benefits of marriage is not having to jack around with the Dating Scene, anymore. I hated that crap.
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Re: Women
Fri Nov 08, 2013 12:10 am
  • SacHawk2.0 wrote:See my avatar



    this is pretty much all you need to know.
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Re: Women
Wed Nov 13, 2013 8:06 am
  • What would you all make of a woman friend requesting you on FB after seeing your name tagged at a party she also attended? We did talk some in passing, but I never got around to asking for her number, mostly because I was in New York last weekend and probably wouldn't see her again. I also never make it a point to friend people on facebook that I don't know at all in person - as I think for a guy that's not a good approach.

    She's kind of good looking but at this point all I know is that we share a similar taste in music which is at least a starting point. Unfortunately, she lives in NYC, and I'm in Maryland.

    I'll be in NYC again at the end of the month to see family over the Thanksgiving break, and would be interested in talking/having a drink with her. Just not sure how to go about doing so without seeming too forward about it.
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Re: Women
Wed Nov 13, 2013 10:00 am
  • Always Fierce wrote:What would you all make of a woman friend requesting you on FB after seeing your name tagged at a party she also attended? We did talk some in passing, but I never got around to asking for her number, mostly because I was in New York last weekend and probably wouldn't see her again. I also never make it a point to friend people on facebook that I don't know at all in person - as I think for a guy that's not a good approach.

    She's kind of good looking but at this point all I know is that we share a similar taste in music which is at least a starting point. Unfortunately, she lives in NYC, and I'm in Maryland.

    I'll be in NYC again at the end of the month to see family over the Thanksgiving break, and would be interested in talking/having a drink with her. Just not sure how to go about doing so without seeming too forward about it.


    Accept her friend request and send her a message along the lines of "hey it was nice meeting you the party, I'm coming back to New York soon we should do coffee".

    It's not that hard.
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Re: Women
Wed Nov 13, 2013 10:53 am
  • BlueThunder wrote:Women aren't that hard, but it takes a decade or two to figure out the sweet-spot (through some unfortunate trial and error) to make your life and theirs tolerable for co-existence. Just a few tips from my 20-year marriage off the top of my head for a successful marriage:

    1. Don't EVER forget milestones on the calendar (birthdays, anniversaries, etc). This is the 21st century, and there are now apps for that.
    2. Get a DVR. When your gal is trying to have a conversation with you, hit pause, act like you care and get the gist of what she's babbling about, but don't engage too much or she'll keep going. Then when she's done, say "yeah, that's pretty cool" or whatever fits the situation, then get back to your show/game.
    3. A daily "Love You" goes farther than you think it would/should.
    4. Know all her friends and family's names. I've found this to be very important!
    5. And for Christ's sake, make sure she comes AT LEAST once before you do. I can't stress this enough! :34853_doh: Extra points for a little post-action cuddling and not just saying "thanks", and rolling over and going to sleep.
    6. Flowers or little thoughtful doo-dads from out of nowhere for no reason gets you so many extra points!
    7. Don't complement any other woman for any physical attribute EVER... No matter how drunk you are! Mentioning that the woman on tv seems extremely intelligent, especially if she's ugly, "should" be ok...
    8. If an argument ensues, and you realize it is breathtakingly petty, let her win... Like it matters, ya know?
    9. No physical contact in anger, ever, under any circumstances unless she is lunging at you with a 12" butcher knife. And if she's doing that, you probably have it coming.
    10. Do something, anything occasionally to let her know that she is important to you. That's for you to figure out.


    This is all I can think of right now off the top of my head, but these fast and pretty damn simple rules should keep your relationship intact. It's worked for me for 20 years, and we've pretty much realized that we don't have enough of a reason to get divorced. Success! WHOOHOO!

    Is this pretty accurate, ladies that are on this board? Do you have any other nuggets to offer?

    I soooo totally agree with all of these.

    But for me right now, divorced a few years ago and now looking to be in a relationship again, I am so not understanding women during the dating/courting stage. They are making no sense to me. If I go slow, I'm too slow. If I go fast, I've gone too fast. The funny thing is, it's not usually me pulling or lagging the relationship, it's them! They just are totally confused about what they want or where they are in being ready or not ready and BS like that. Ugh!
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Re: Women
Wed Nov 13, 2013 11:35 am
  • SacHawk2.0 wrote:
    Always Fierce wrote:What would you all make of a woman friend requesting you on FB after seeing your name tagged at a party she also attended? We did talk some in passing, but I never got around to asking for her number, mostly because I was in New York last weekend and probably wouldn't see her again. I also never make it a point to friend people on facebook that I don't know at all in person - as I think for a guy that's not a good approach.

    She's kind of good looking but at this point all I know is that we share a similar taste in music which is at least a starting point. Unfortunately, she lives in NYC, and I'm in Maryland.

    I'll be in NYC again at the end of the month to see family over the Thanksgiving break, and would be interested in talking/having a drink with her. Just not sure how to go about doing so without seeming too forward about it.


    Accept her friend request and send her a message along the lines of "hey it was nice meeting you the party, I'm coming back to New York soon we should do coffee".

    It's not that hard.



    For sure, but its still over 2 weeks out. Would you send another message as a reminder closer to the date as well? I know this seems silly to alot of you, but am painfully introverted so this does not come easily to me, at all.
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Re: Women
Wed Nov 13, 2013 12:24 pm
  • Accept the friend request and send the message a week out.
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Re: Women
Wed Nov 13, 2013 1:06 pm
  • SacHawk2.0 wrote:Accept the friend request and send the message a week out.



    Just accepted the request. A cursory look at pictures on her wall seem to indicate she has a bf that likes to post there frequently with pictures of him and her about town. Seems like all the more reason for me to not jump the gun. Oddly enough, she doesn't have "in a relationship" on her profile status.

    This makes sense to me with regard to sending a message about coming to town a week out - and any response or lack thereof will be very revealing. Really nothing to lose here given the circumstances.
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