"*sigh* it's the off-season..."
"this offseason is way to long!"
"is it [insert meaningful NFL date/event here] yet?"
These are hallmarks of this forum. People from around the country will endure the strenuous and daunting activity of turning on their computer, opening their laptop, or poking the touch screen of their phone to gain entry onto this forum to utter one these one-liners or some paraphrased variation of it. But what is it that the fans want? Should time accelerate during the off-season where the months pass in days? Should we forgo the anticipation of free-agency or the draft or the preseason and just transition from the end of the Superbowl to the regular season opener in a matter of days or weeks? Should the regular season be extended to last 12 to 13 months out of the year (That's right. We can invent a month just to get more football into a single year)? Should a statement such as "Oh, [insert sympathetic looking football player] has a family? Well he should of gotten a real job if he ever thought he could spend any meaningful amount of time with them! MuahaAHAHAHAH!" become one of the new hallmarks of the forum?
This cannot happen.
If we speed up time during this strenuous peroid of time known as the "off-season" (or "offseason" for those who neglect their hyphens), the valuable time here will become useless to all of those who might do something productive, like curing diabetes or cancer or stupidity. The greatest challenges of the 21st century could only receive undivided attention during teams' respective bye weeks (oh and and the pro-bowl). There's also that whole issue for those of us who intend to die of old age departing with having really only "lived" less than 60% of our lives, and that less than 60% time period being mostly represented by Fall and Winter. Time acceleration? No thanks!
What about making the NFL season longer? Like never ending long?
If we extend the regular season, the now year-long rigors of the NFL season will take an unbelievable toll on the players and coaches. Injuries, substance abuse, and domestic violence will all dramatically rise. Jay Cutler won't just look drunk, he will really be drunk. Enough QBs will be injured that will we once again be exposed to Tim Tebow attempting another biblical show-down with his life-long nemesis, the "forward pass". Oh, and don't forget about the coaches! We're well aware of how nuts Jim Harbaugh is but can you imagine him on some combination of Adderall and Jack Daniels after losing 2 or 3 consecutive seasons worth of division games to the Seahawks (by mind-blowing point differentials no less)? If he were locked in a cage in this condition, this would be some sort of gif/meme generating wonder-box for our fans, but putting him on an NFL sideline where there are innocent (and more importantly some not so innocent) cheerleaders among other less notable people? I would not wish that upon anyone!
In conclusion, the off-season is as long as it needs to be, and we're all better off for it.
PS: for the heads this thread may go over:
PPS: *sigh* it's the off-season...
Edited for language by radish