There is nothing funny about this. Do you not read all the Uniform Threads on .NET.
First off, why are you even sharing your time with a woman who googles "seahawks browner jersey" and just assumes to buy the correct one.
This is BRANDON BROWNER!!!
You know what, never mind, it is your fault. Did Ralphie just want a BB gun, any thing. Hell, no, he looked the department store Santa in the eye and proclaimed "I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!"
If you can not let a woman know what you want, maybe you should let her go and date a Canadian. Canadians know how to treat a lady.
But by all means, wear that pathetic rag around and proclaim yourself a "fan" sir. We mock you when you are not looking. Your uncle is also your dad.