As one with a checkered past, or at least one here, I hereby blame all of my poor moments and lapses in judgement to "hormonal moments" similar to that which caused a fake punt.
Everyone, confess your sins with Father Rocket.
( what a wild excuse, Coach )
"We walked our (pedestrian) ass to the Super Bowl"
"Friction caused this blossom of love to happen"
"Check your PMs"
“That 54, Bobby, man, he "effing" fast as "eff", man"